


A Blast from the Past

by DooksForDays, sammys_lover



Category: Beetlejuice (1988), Beetlejuice (TV 1989), Beetlejuice - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Harassment, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Masturbation, Memes, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Reincarnation, basically the whole Maitland/Deetz house, but with you!, this is gonna get a little sexy and graphic later on in the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-01-03 14:54:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21181283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DooksForDays/pseuds/DooksForDays, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammys_lover/pseuds/sammys_lover
Summary: What's got a haunted house, reincarnation, and a snazzy possum?This fic!sammys_lover helped me out with this, so go give them some love!!!





	1. It's Showtime!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm taking bits from the movie, cartoon and musical for this. Beetlejuice has been dead for around 600 years, just likes to round up for exaggeration, he looks like the Alex Brightman Beej, but the Charles and Delia are very much like the ones from the movie. And sorry for all the medieval fans out there, but Middle English is hard, so any flashbacks are gonna be "translated" into Modern English. I will switch POVs around from time to time, it'll mostly be reader, but when I switch to Beetleboy it'll be in italics. Flashbacks are also in italics, but Beej is pretty distinct with the way he thinks. If I think of anything else, I'll just put it in other chapters. Anyway, thanks for reading and feel free to leave suggestions in the comments! Enjoy <3

_ "Slow down." I say with a laugh as he inhales another slice. "I know you love my onion and egg tart, but if you keep eating like that your hair will turn green." His own laugh rings out, sounding a bit hoarse. Though most people may find his voice a bit gritting, I couldn’t get enough. I could listen to him laugh and talk for hours. I look at him and feel the warmth of love rising in me. Tenderly, I cup his cheek, he nuzzles into it and I can't help but grin. "I love you so much, Lawr-" _

"Miss, we’re about to land." The attendant wakes me from my slumber, I mutter out a thank you as I stretch away the sleep. Another medieval dream, same couple, can never find out his name. Mom always said I had those dreams because I was so into history, that I was giving the stories life.

I’ve always had a thing for history, been really good at it too. My mom used to say I have an old soul and know things I shouldn’t possibly know about the past. Like a village that doesn't exist anymore, or what an extinct plant tastes like. Like old recipes and folk songs and stories. She said I had such an imagination, she almost believed the things I told her about the past. I say “believed” because mom isn't here anymore.

I've been on my own for a while, never knew my dad, mom died when I was 19, no other family to speak of. It slowed me down for a bit there, but I finally got through it. I went to college and got a masters in anthropology, which now I hear they don't offer anymore, and a master's in history, specializing in European history. I also got a bachelor's in botany, but I tend to stick with the historical side of things. It seems to be a passion of mine with a never-ending flame.

Finally finished with classes, now 26 years old, I thought I'd travel a bit. My mom left me a fair amount of money in her will, told me to "find true happiness" with it. Used it to pay for school, so I don't have to worry about any debt, and now I'm travelling. What a world, I guess. 

Though, with the world at my fingertips, I still felt stuck, somehow. I remember it clear as day. I sat there one morning, staring at a globe for a while, and for some reason my eyes kept wandering back to Connecticut.

"The entire world at my fingertips and I want to go to  _ Connecticut? _ “ I shake my head, looking up from the globe with a sigh. That’s when my eyes fell on a picture of mom. She told me to find true happiness, so maybe I should listen to my heart. My gut. And for some strange reason, my gut says...Connecticut. “Might as well." 

And that's how I ended up in Winter River, CT. It was a nice town, a few Victorian houses here and there. The weather isn’t too terrible, either. After getting a bit of a look around, trying to familiarize myself, I stopped outside of an old shop. The windows were full of grime, paint on the outside chipping. The sign overhead was starting to fade, but could still be read.

"Maitland's…"

"Shame what happened to them." I jumped as someone appeared next to me. An older man with weary eyes, shaking his head as he looked at the sign, faded grief evident in his expression.

"I'm sorry?" I couldn't help but ask, his sudden appearance catching me off guard.

"The Maitlands, nice couple, about 2 years ago they passed. Still haven't been able to sell the shop. Their house though?" He whistled, turning and pointing to a large house on a hill off in the distance. "That's it over there, sold pretty damn quick. Looks  _ nothing _ like it used to, with the kooks that live there now. Better them than me though, people 'round here say it's haunted." I take a moment to look at the big house on the hill, but I'm unable to fully take it in before another voice startles me.

"Thomas! Telling tall tales about us again, are you?" A sharply dressed man with a clean shaven face walks up, plastic grin stretching his features.

"Just warning this nice lady to stay away from your house, you loon." Thomas mutters under his breath before tipping his hat at me and walking away. The new man offers his hand to me, I take it in a firm shake.

"Charles Deetz, I'm one of the "kooks" in that lovely house. Sorry you had to deal with him.” He gives me a haughty laugh before continuing. ”What brings you to these parts?" This conversation is starting to give me whiplash, first Thomas now Charles? I haven't even been here ten minutes! And how are all these people sneaking up on me so easily? There aren’t that many places to hide, are there?

"Well, I finished college and thought I'd travel a bit before settling down somewhere." I’m about to continue when he cuts me off, not even noticing that I’d opened my mouth.

"College! Wonderful! My daughter, Lydia, she's trying to finish school right now herself. History though, not her strongest subject." I chuckled, earning an eyebrow arch from Charles.

"Sorry, it's funny that you say that, my majors were in history actually." Once again, his face is pulled tight in a grin.

"Excellent! Say, if you don't have any other plans, how about you come over for dinner, hm? Have a nice end to your first day in Winter River, maybe meet my daughter?"

Uh oh. Maybe Thomas was right here.

"Oh, I couldn't. Wouldn't want to impose-"

"Nonsense! Come on, I'll show you around!" He wraps an arm around my shoulders and we're off. We’re in his car before I can blink, and halfway down the road with Charles chatting happily. Either he's being genuine or I'm going to be murdered tonight. Eh. Won't be my problem anymore I guess. Though it is a shame that my gut told me to go and get murdered in Connecticut. 

_ I shake my head, confused. I haven't had a dream like that in a long time, honestly I haven't thought of  _ her _ in a long time. Ugh, God/Satan, that realization hurts a bit. But what I wanna know is  _ why  _ I had that dream. Why am I thinking about that? It was so long ago, and she was- I shake my head, green hair flying in all directions. Maybe I should see what Lydia is up to. Get my mind offa this.  _

Sure enough though, Charles takes me to his large house on the hill, prattling on about every little thing along the way. "-and honestly, if you haven't seen the upper side of New York, then what's the point? Look at that! We're here!"

I hadn't said a single word since he whisked me away on this little road trip of his, but he hasn’t noticed and suddenly we're standing in the entrance of his home.

"Wow…" This seems to please the man, he lets go of my shoulders, much to my relief. 

"I'll let you look around, make yourself at home. I'll let my wife know you're here." There he goes. Weirdo. Okay, assuming I’m not about to be killed here, I might as well explore. He said I could look around, so I do. Though all the terrible art they have laying around makes me wish I hadn’t. Maybe the next floor will be...at least a little tasteful? Making my way upstairs, my feet carry me to what looks like the entrance to an attic. It’s a narrow stairway, almost cozy in a way. I reach out, about to turn the knob but freeze before opening the door, hearing a couple hushed voices. What if this is somebody’s bedroom? That’d be awkward. But funny. It doesn’t take a lot of internal debate to decide to open the door, especially since they already know I'm here. With a shrug and a shove, I open the door and step in.

"Whoa…" This house keeps getting better. The attic looks more like a bedroom, string lights hung around, and a large table with a diorama of the entire town. Standing near it was a young girl in all black. She looks far too young to be the man’s wife, so… "Oh, you must be Lydia. Sorry, your dad said I could look around." She stared at me, suspicious. I gave her my name, she repeated it. God this is awkward. "Okay… anyway, thought I heard a couple other voices in here, guess not, I'll just leave you to your-"

"You heard them?" Her lips pulled into a smile, I look around, finally spotting the other two. The man and woman realize they've been seen and step out back into the rest of the room.

"...this better not be some weird shit." Lydia laughs lightly.

"No it's fine, this is Adam and Barbara Maitland."

"The dead people? So you're ghosts?" 

"Yeah, you're not scared?" The woman, Barbara, asks, relief pouring off of her.

"No, I've seen plenty of ghosts before. I don't scare that easy." I really hope they don’t ask me to elaborate on the whole “other ghosts” thing. Thankfully, before they have a chance to, something changes in the air. Lydia shook her head, but she doesn’t look to be afraid at all, maybe a little… annoyed?

"Oh no, now you've done it."

" _ Is that a challenge I hear? _ " A gravelly voice rang out, forcing me to whip around as I search the attic for the source. I spot a black and white striped box with a bright green ribbon on top nearby. That...wasn’t there a second ago. " _ Go on babe, open it. Got your name on it and everything. _ " Sure enough, there's a purple tag with my name on it. I turn to Lydia, she just shrugs.

"You already got his attention. Up to you." Curiosity impossible to resist, I quickly step to the box and pick it up.

" _ Ooh, I love it when you touch me like that. _ " I can't help but laugh, shaking my head as I pull on the ribbon. A puff of green smoke explodes in my face and suddenly I'm holding a man in my arms bridal style. His suit is similar to the box while his hair is the same shade of green as the ribbon, pale face with a similarly green scruff. He looks like he was about to say something else, but it's my turn for smart assery.

"Oh, is it my birthday already? I don't remember asking for something  _ this _ sexy."

"Oh god, there's  _ two  _ of them!" Lydia groans, her face in her hands for a moment. She says my name to grab my attention and I turn back to face her, still holding the now stunned man, the tips of his hair turning a faint pink. "This is Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice,  _ behave. _ " That seems to snap him out of the stunned silence and he leaps out of my arms, his air of confidence back in an instant.

"Around something this tasty? Don't think so." This earns a glare from everyone but me, all eyes on Beetlejuice.

"What kind of name is Beetlejuice?" He whirls around, smirking.

"It's my name, feel free to call me whenever you like. Please, I  _ insist _ ."

"If you call his name three times it summons him and he can be seen by anybody and interact more directly. To avoid that we call him by nicknames."

"Ah yes, please, blowjob was my father. Call me BJ. Or y’know, Beej, head." I tilt my own head at him as he writes on a comically long list he summoned from nowhere. He sees my confusion and shows it to me.

"Is this just a bunch of ways to ask for oral?" He winks and the list is gone. Lydia makes a face, and I do my best to suppress my laughter at her visible disgust.

"Ugh, gross. He's always like this, sorry about that. But yeah, we call him Beej mostly."

"But you can call me  _ daddy _ if you like." He wiggles his eyebrows and I snort, trying to hold back more laughter.

"I'll uh, pass on that last one, Beej,” I use my pointer finger to playfully push him backwards by his chest. “but thanks for the offer." A sudden call from downstairs catches my attention. "I think Charles is looking for me. It’s been nice meeting you all!" I give them all a smile before turning to head out the door and back down the stairs. As I leave the attic I can hear Beetlejuice complaining behind me.

"Why does Chuck get all the fun?" I shake my head and make my way to the bottom floor. He’s waiting right where he left me, his hands together behind his back. He spots me, and his (probably very forced) smile returns.

"Ah, did you find Lydia okay?" Charles greets me from the dining room doorway as we move through the house.

"Yeah, and her… friends?"

"Oh, so you met the Maitlands?"

"They were lovely, but I mostly talked to Bee-" Charles pressed a quick hand over my mouth, eyes hard. As quick as it happened he removed his hand and went right back to smiling.

"Sorry, Delia and I don't talk about that one. Not big fans.” He tries to move on from the discomfort he’d just put in the air by nodding his head towards the next room. “Shall we?" He leads the way into the kitchen where a lovely woman is preparing dinner. "This is my wife, Delia. Delia, I'd like you to meet Lydia's potential tutor!" Delia looks up, taking in the sight of me.

"Well, at least she knows how to dress. Charles and I discussed it, if you would like, you are more than welcome to stay here however long you'll be in town. In return," she saw me about to argue against it, "you will tutor Lydia in history. I don't know what plans you have in life, or how long you'll be travelling, but we know many people high up in the world and we can certainly help you along the way. If you accept that is." I can only stand there, stunned. What the  _ hell _ did I walk myself into?! Who are these people? Goth Kardashians?!

"Could… could I have a moment to think about this?"

"Of course! We'll be in here." Charles replied, I nodded and stepped back into the… what is this, a foyer? Whatever, I started pacing in it.

"Okay… I didn't really have a plan after school except to travel… suddenly I'm in the middle of an episode of the Addams Family! Not that that's a bad thing, I love the Addams Family… ugh, what do I do?!" I come to a stop in my pacing, staring at a single spot on the floor, finding myself lost in thought for a moment. "Mom would know what to do…” I push my hair back with a huff. “Damn it! Mom's not here! This is my call!"

"It sure is, babe." I whipped my head around to find Beetlejuice laying on the banister, hand in a popcorn bucket full of…

"Are those beetles?" I squint at him and step closer, grabbing one. Sure enough, it's full of beetles. Like… live beetles. "Why are you eating jewel beetles?"

"I like the colors, adds flavor." He hops down to stand next to me, popcorn bucket gone. I wonder for a moment how he did that. I hand him back the beetle (which he pops into his mouth with a loud crunch,) and get a good look at him. A bit taller than me. Okay, he's taller by a foot, but not that much more. He's not that bad looking, quite handsome, actually. Nice eyes.

"Aww, you're too kind." Beetlejuice bats his eyelashes at me. Whoops, guess I said that last part out loud. I do my best to suppress the blush that was fighting its way to my face. I swallow down my embarrassment easily as he continues. "Anyways, what are you thinking about? I’m normally the only one who talks to myself around here.” His hand comes up and opens and closes like it’s a sock puppet. “No you’re not.” He turns to his own hand. “Yes I am."

I snort, and he seems satisfied with my laughter, and waits for me to continue. "Charles and Delia offered me a job as Lydia's tutor. I can live here and help Lydia with class. But I just... don't know if I want to take it yet."

"Why not? Sounds like a pretty good deal to me."

"I literally only just met these people! Sure, I had no other plans for my life, sure, when I was looking at places to travel the only one I could think of was a town I didn't know existed until I looked through towns in Connecticut because something inside me had some kind of hang up on the state. And sure, I have no other family to really talk to, so being invited into a home so suddenly is a little off putting after years of being by myself. But…" I realized, in my rambling, that I really didn't have any reason not to accept the offer. I look at Beej, a flirty smile on his lips. I shake my head. "I don't know…"

"Oh come on babe, look, no one else in the house except for Lydia likes hanging out with me! And sometimes she doesn't like me because I drive her crazy or something! You just met me and we already got great banter. Look, I'm begging!" He falls to his knees. "Please, I need you to stay! You can't leave me!" I can tell he’s hamming things up, but something inside me reacted to his words and before I could stop myself I reached a hand out and cupped his cheek. He froze, looking at me as I smiled softly at him.

"Alright, I'll stay, but only because you're too cute." His hair immediately became a blaze of pink. I chuckled and walked away, off to find Charles to tell him that I’m taking him up on his offer. Once out of his sight I realized what just happened, my cheeks lit up in a blush of their own. The fuck did I just do?! Shaking it off and trying to calm my hammering heart, I take a breath and go back into the kitchen. Charles and Delia look at me expectantly. "I'll stay.”

Charles smiles at me, but it’s a little more genuine than it had been before. "Wonderful! Let me go get Lydia and tell her the news. Oh. Also, dinner is ready."

Dinner goes by without… well, Beej kept doing random silly things behind Charles trying to make me laugh. I nearly choked a couple times, not going to lie. But once everything got settled, Lydia seemed excited at the news of me staying as her tutor. And to be frank, I’m excited to teach her. She seems like a great kid. I thanked everyone for everything and found a room for myself. It was downstairs and far enough away from the family that I wouldn't accidentally overhear…  _ events _ in the night. Delia said I'm free to decorate the room as I see fit, so I might do that at some point. Though I could tell she’d had nothing to do with the room’s current decor. Finally in my pajamas, I slip into bed to get some rest.

Maybe my gut was right about Connecticut after all.


	2. Time to get dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Beetlejuice have some... moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the comments!!! They make my day with every new one I see <3 Smut Warning Ahead! I'm sorry if you don't like smut, I'll try to keep story elements out of it, but this one has a little. But also, Beej is a very sexual guy, he even says so himself in the movie and the musical. Also, Beej seems to know when his name is said no matter where the person is. I personally consider the backyard as part of the house, but also, he's a demon, so I feel like he can go wherever he wants.
> 
> Oh! I promise more Lydia and Maitlands in the next chapter! Please be patient, I may have help from one of the best authors I know, but I'm still not great with writing!  
Thanks for reading <3

_ Walking around the dark halls of this house sure give me a lotta time to think. Not that I use the time for a ton of thinkin’! Normally I’m messing with all the sleeping saps by filling their slippers with syrup or jumping into the occasional dream. But tonight was bound to be at least a little more interesting, what, with another breather in the house. I kinda like her though, she knows how to take and make a joke! Plus she's really cute. And her laugh? Fuck, I need to hear that again. Definitely won't be boring around here, that's for sure.You know what? I probably won’t even put even a little syrup in her slippers. OR her hair. With everyone asleep though, I don't have a lot to do. Adam and Babs are in the attic, Lydia is in bed, Chuck and Delia aren't very fun… Is that screaming? Oh boy, here I go! Following the screams I find myself in the new chick's room. I don't know why, but I went right to her side and woke her up. I’d normally record sounds like those to be my new ringtone, but doing that in this case felt… wrong. I dunno, it’s weird, don’t ask. _

"Hey, babe, wake up, it's okay." Beej is by my bed, hands on my arm, my breathing rapid as I clutch my chest, pain still felt. It’s white hot and searing on my skin, the sting forcing tears to my eyes.

"Wha-What happened?! I-I-I was in the castle courtyard and…" A dream, it was a dream.

There’s a beat of silence before Beetlejuice breaks it. "You wanna talk about it? I could always use more ideas to scare the shit outta breathers." Beej hopped up on the bed, arms open for a hug. Maybe he was just opening them because that’s his signature thing. Whatever the case, I, without a second thought, threw myself into him, head resting on his chest. I inhaled the scent of him, the musky smell of moss and bugs filling my nose.

"I was a member of the court, walking through the yard as the royal family hosted a party. It was lovely. But as I took my seat, assassins came out of the shadows, killing the family, I was taken and they…" Silent tears fell, I almost didn't feel Beej wiping them away. "They tore my chest apart… it hurt so bad, it looked so awful… it felt real…" My throat tightens before I can go any further, happy he’d pulled me out of that nightmare when he did.

"Hey, look at me." He put a finger under my chin and raised my head to look at him. "You're not there anymore, you're here with me." I smiled, nuzzling back into his chest. “And I am MUCH scarier than anything you can dream up.” His joking tone sets me at ease, and I sniffle as I feel myself calming down. 

"Thanks Beej, means a lot… makes me feel… safe." As strange as it is, I do feel safe. In the arms of a ghost. My last thought was of his arms around me before I was out like a light.

_ And just like that she's asleep again. I can’t help but look at her in shock. She feels _ safe _ with _ me _ ?! Is she crazy?! And what about me?! I'm not this nice, maybe it's gas. Yep, there it is, it’s gas. I'll just set her down and- oh God/Satan, she's holding me tight. The last thing that held me this tight was a bear trap. Looks like I'm not going anywhere for awhile, seeing as I’m wrapped in this lovely pair of arms. Oooh, guess I better get comfortable. Not that I’m complainin’. _

Morning comes around too soon, and I cling to my pillow a bit tighter, hoping it would carry me back to dreams. The less gory ones. Wait… pillows aren't normally _ hairy. _ I opened my eyes to find myself attached to a very shirtless Beej, my face right on his chest. When did that happen?!

"Morning babe. Sleep well?" Not gonna lie, I was so surprised I flung myself out of bed and landed on the floor with a hard thud, tangled in the blanket.

I quickly sit up, blowing the messy hair from my face as I looked at him, wide-eyed, he’s once again in his full signature striped suit. "The fuck are you doing in my bed?!"

"You telling me you don't remember last night?" Beej rolled onto his side and winked at me, I felt my face burning at the thought before I remembered what actually happened. I shut my eyes and shake my head before grabbing the nearest pillow and throwing it at him. He catches it with a laugh.

“Very funny. I had a nightmare.” I set my elbows on the bed, peering at him. “Did you stay with me all night?"

He gets a somewhat sheepish look on his face before nodding. "Well, yeah. You wouldn't let go of me." I stand up with a huff, still trying to get the blush off my face. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, babes. I know I’m irresistible.”

I shake my head, shooing him off the bed. "Well, would you mind leaving so I can get dressed?"

"Oh I would mind, because I'd sure love to watch." That does it, my face is bright red when I grabbed the collar of his jacket and picked him up. He let me carry him, weight as light as a feather, and I quite literally tossed him out of the room, and he lands like a sack of potatoes in the hall.

"We can hang out later, but for fuck's sake let me get dressed." I heard a laugh and looked around, meeting Lydia's eyes. At least somebody’s having fun. With a groan, I turn back into my room and get dressed quickly. When I rejoin everyone I find Lydia with Beej in a chokehold. "Uh…"

"Don't ask." Lydia stated, so I just shrugged and moved to get breakfast.

"So, what lesson are you on in your history class?"

"Plagues of Europe." She dropped Beej, seemingly finished choking him. He stands up unfazed.

"Oh, I love that one! I still remember the dancing plague of 1518."

"Me too, they really thought it was the praying that cured them. Wait, do you remember the Black Death?" Beej froze for only a moment, but a moment too long.

"Yep, had a very good time during that." His smile didn't reach his eyes and I think he noticed me staring because he changed the topic really quickly. "So babe, what do you wanna do while Lydia's at school? I'm thinking we… _ get to know each other _, if you catch my drift."

"Keep your driftwood to yourself, Beej, I gotta get a garden started." I blew on him and he faded into dust with my breath, reappearing dramatically a couple feet away.

"Lydia, she's so rude, always giving me the cold shoulder," suddenly he was covered in ice, "are you gonna let her talk to me like that?" He turned but Lydia was gone already, a note left in her place.

_ Don’t let Beej bother you too much while I’m at school, Adam and Barbara said you can use whatever you find in the shed for your garden. Try not to dig up the entire yard. _

_ -Lydia _

I read the note aloud, smiling at the offer before setting it back on the table. Beej seems to have defrosted while I cleaned up the breakfast mess.

“Garden, huh?” He inquires, sounding almost bored.

I nod, walking casually towards the kitchen where the backdoor is, pulling my hair up while we walk. “Yeah, you know. Plants. Living things. You remember those, right?”

I open the door and make my way outside, Beej follows me outside, floating over my shoulder as he tugged lightly on a stray lock of hair at my sass.

“Well duh, but what're you planting a garden for?" I come to a stop in the middle of the backyard, looking around for a good place to start, when my eyes come to a rather lush part of the yard.

“There we go.” I mutter before going to the shed to grab some tools. “I happen to like gardening, besides, I’m hoping to grow my own ingredients for recipes.” I get on my knees and start digging holes for the seeds when I hear something going on with Beej.

“Oh, ah, say, babes? Would you- I mean, could you-?” I just shake my head at him, doing my best to ignore his antics so I can get some work done. Beetlejuice gives an exasperated sigh and I hear something tear. “YEET!” Before I can dig another hole or turn around, his head pops out of the dirt.

“Hey, pay attention to me!” With a groan, I set my tool down and gather up his head to give back to him.

“Oooh! This isn’t how I’d imagined you giving me head, but I’ll take it.”

I decide to ignore that, shaking my head.

“You know, if you want me to hang out with you, maybe you can help dig some holes for the seeds? Also, did Lydia teach you that word?” When I turn to his body, I notice something _ else _is missing as well. “Where did your arm go?!”

“I was trying to tell you I needed your help!” He takes his head and puts it back on. “Can you go get my arm? Please? I think it rolled down the hill somewhere.” 

“Did you yeet your arm down the fucking hill, Beej?” 

“Please, look, I’ll even finish digging your garden for you.” He offers, taking up my spot. I just shake my head as I make my way down the hill. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

_ Thank fuck. I look up at the attic window where Babs was watching the whole thing. I give her a thumbs up and do my best to hurry and finish her dumb holes. Why this spot?! I don’t wanna freak her out if she finds my dead body. Not that it’s a big deal or anything, I only had it for like, five minutes. Thanks for that, Lyds. Fuck, this is hard to do with only one hand, I really gotta start thinkin’ this shit out. Oh crap, she’s almost back! Gotta hurry! _

Stupid arm. Stupid Beej. Ugh, I see him still sitting in the little garden area, plenty of holes dug now. Without looking at him, I throw his arm at him, hitting him in the leg before I sit back down and start placing seeds in the holes, not looking his way the whole time. I stick the seed packet at the end of one row to mark it when I see him starting with different seeds. I sigh and place a hand on his to stop him. 

Still not saying anything, I label the other rows in a similar fashion and show him. I try to ignore the blush rising on my cheeks when I realize my hand was still on his. I pull it away and turn back to my work, but not before seeing his hair turn pink. I really need to ask him what that means. Before I knew it, we were done with the seeds I picked out from Barbara’s shed, so I stand up and dust my jeans off. The pink in Beej’s hair having faded, it was starting to look a little blue. Maybe it’s a mood ring kinda thing? I shake my head, not stopping the small smile pulling at my lips.

“I’ll be getting more seeds soon, maybe some belladonna, if you’d like to help me again.” I see him perk up when I talk to him again and I giggle. He’s like a puppy I swear! “I’m gonna go make some lunch.” I can feel his eyes on me as I walk back into the house. After I make myself a quick sandwich, I check the time. Lydia should be home soon. Good, maybe she can fill me in on how she deals with Beej all the time. He’s cute, but a lot to handle- wait. What was that thought?! The man, ghost, demon, whatever he is, he literally eats bugs! Well, I mean, in some places of the world that’s normal. Just not live ones! I mean, some people eat live octopus. Besides, he’s… funny, and he’s not too in-my-face I suppose… oh, and he pulled me from my nightmare, and he’s got a smile like- oh no. I realize that it’s too late when I have a dreamy smile on my face thinking about him. I actually have a crush on a _ dead guy! _ This is bad! But it could be fun.

My internal turmoil is interrupted by a sound in the backyard. With a groan, I pop the last of my sandwich into my mouth, pocket my phone, and head back outside only to be greeted by a shower of dirt. Glad my mouth was closed, thanks to proper eating etiquette. I brush the dirt away from my eyes and look at Beetlejuice, who is lifting a chunk of turf in the air.

“What. Are. You. Doing?” I recognized it as the garden, he sees me staring and rushes to put it back, making sure to cover the entire hole.

“You didn’t see that, right?” He asks sheepishly, his hair fading to an odd yellow.

“What? You ripping our garden out of the ground?” His hair turns a deeper yellow, a streak or two of blue in it.

“I was checking to make sure there was nothing weird under it! That way you could have the best garden! Wait.” He looks like he’s processing something. “You said… our garden?”

“Well… yeah. You helped me, so I thought, you know… It could be ours.” My face starts to heat up, even though I'm trying to be mad at him, I see the yellow and blue start to get overtaken by pink. “Either way!” I say a little too loudly, trying to distract myself from how cute he looks with pink hair. “Please don’t just start ripping the ground out of… the ground? It can hurt the plant life around, plus you covered me in dirt!” It’s like he finally sees what happened, he floats over to me and starts dusting me off. I grab his hands gently and pull them away. “Thanks, but I think I’ll just take a shower, Beej.” I release his hands and, before I walk away or lose my nerve, I give him a kiss on the cheek. His hair is a deep magenta and I tear off to the shower.

_ She kissed my cheek?! I ghost a touch over the spot, still burning with her kiss. Lydia walks into the kitchen and quirks a brow at my face. She steps out while I’m still caught up in what happened. _

“Is _ that _ where she started the garden? Isn’t your body under there-” _ I grab her by the shoulders, eyes wide. Lydia glances up to my hair and chuckles, I shake it off. _

“Lydia! Thank fuck you’re home! I need your help with something!” _ I carefully drag her through the house, stopping as we pass a bathroom downstairs. Is that the shower? That means that beautiful woman is- Ugh! I can’t think about that now! But I absolutely will later. I keep pulling Lyds along until we reach the safety of her bedroom where I tell her what happened. _

_ “ _ -and so she came back with my arm and threw it at me. I ended up just helping her until she said she was done and went to make lunch. Then she got all covered in dirt because I was checking to make sure the body was deep enough that shallow roots wouldn’t grab onto it from the onions she planted. I mean, it’d be funny if she pulled up an onion and my finger was attached to it, but that’s beside the point. Oh! And then, she kissed my cheek and now she’s taking a shower. _ ” Lydia had been listening the whole time, nodding along, but she regained her smirk from earlier at the mention of the kiss. _

_ " _ Can't you just make a new arm and summon your clones to help you with that? _ " _

_ “ _ ...oh god damn it! _ ” She’s right! I was too distracted by the thought of keeping her from my corpse to even think of that! I look at Lydia after the stunning revelation and her eyes widen, like she also just realized something. _

_ " _ You like her, don't you? _ " _

_ " _ No, pssh- _ " I laugh, maybe a little too hard. " _ Th-y'know, that stuffs for the breathers. _ " _

_ " _ You do! You have a crush on- _ " I cover her mouth quickly, listening for babe’s footsteps down the hall. _

_ " _ Shh! She could hear you! _ " I pop my hand off my arm so it stays over her mouth and conjure a new one, the tips of my hair turning pink. " _ ... if you tell ANYONE, I swear to god/satan, kid… _ ” She moves my hand, tossing it over her shoulder, a devilish grin on her lips. _

_ " _ Oh, I won't tell anyone. _ " _

_ " _ I don't like the sound of that. _ " Somehow her grin gets even wider. I was gonna retort when suddenly I hear my name being- _Oh.

_ A little earlier... _

I step into the bathroom, which is decorated in shades of blues and creams, the cool tile below me receiving a light dusting of dirt as I cross the floor, kicking off my shoes as I go.

It doesn’t take me long to pull back the shower curtain and start up the water, letting it warm while I strip.

God, It’s been a weird day. Been a couple weird days. All I was supposed to do is travel, and now I’m in this huge house with these people and ghosts and a demon with a job and a garden? I guess the shock of it all as has just now hit me, because I can suddenly feel tension in every muscle.

I make quick work of my clothes, tossing them in a bundled heap in the hamper, planning on going back and taking care of any dirt later. For now, I just wanted to get cleaned off. Maybe the hot water will melt away my tension.

I let my hair down and sift through it a little, making sure there aren’t any creatures in there before I hop in.

When I’m sure there’s nothing there, I get in the shower, the heat welcome against my skin, the dirt from BJ’s antics quickly washed down the drain and forgotten.

I try to be quick about things, sudsing up and shutting my eyes, trying to let my shoulders relax.

It doesn’t work.

Ugh, maybe I should just… I dunno, try something else? I can’t soak in a tub, I’m not asking anyone for a massage, so that just leaves… well, getting off.

There’s no harm in it, right?

I figure I might as well, leaning on the cool wall of the shower, letting the hot water continue to run as I spread my legs slightly, my dominant hand working between them to toy with my clit.

Eyes still closed, I try to find something to focus on.

And try as I might, I can’t think about getting off to anything but Beetlejuice.

God, it’s so weird. I’ve only just met him but I feel like I've known him for so much longer. Maybe it was just the lust talking. Either way, there’s no harm in just one fantasy, right?

I start off slow and easy, just playing with myself to start. My eyes remain closed as I try to picture him on his knees in front of me. Fuck, he’d probably love that. He’d probably love having me run my hand through that hair of his when it’s nice and pretty pink, grabbing a fistful of his locks and forcing him forward.

He’d probably moan at having his hair pulled. He’d probably grip my thighs, hooking at least one over his shoulder as I forced his mouth to my cunt, his tongue licking a broad stripe upwards.

He would probably love to have me buck against his mouth as his tongue enters me, the perverted bastard.

I can’t bite back the moan that escapes me when I allow my middle finger to enter myself, my palm pressing against my clit, that extra bit of friction making the scene in my head all the more real.

He would probably moan against me, eating me out sloppily, messily, hungrily. Like I would be his last goddamn meal. And he would probably look me dead in the eye the entire time.

I whimper against the water, still hot against my skin, adding a second finger and curling them over and over before just doing all but riding them as the coil in my lower stomach grew tighter.

Fuck, he would moan against me and the vibrations would make everything better. He would lick every bit of my arousal up and swallow it down happily.

I buck against my fingers, my unoccupied hand moving upwards to my mouth so I can bite my fist. Who knows who could hear me if I didn’t?

I’m so close, I’m so close, I just need something else. I want to hear him. I want to hear him moan and whimper and whine as I hold his head between my legs.

I want to feel his breath on me when he pulls his tongue from me, replacing it with his fingers, dragging my clit between his teeth before flicking it with his tongue.

I’m panting, brows knitted, my fist leaving my mouth to desperately grasp at the shower wall.

I want to look him dead in the eye and get a good look at his eyes, darkened with lust, as a single, desperate demand leaves him.

“Cum.”

I do, my gasps (hopefully) lost in the sound of the water as I clench around my fingers, whimpering, before I can stop myself-

“Beetlejuice-!”

I thrash against my hand for the duration of my orgasm, seeing nothing but stars as my legs fail me and I’m left panting as I sit on the shower floor.

I have to take a moment before I get on my knees to shut off the water, sitting there in silence, broken by my own attempt to catch my breath.

I’m… really in deep, aren’t I?

I give myself a moment to collect myself before standing, drying off, y’know, going through the motions.

I’m out of the bathroom and on my way to my room for clothes quickly, happy that Charles and Delia aren’t home yet. Stupid tiny towel, half of my ass is hanging out of it, good thing my room is close by! I feel someone watching but I really can’t bring myself to look in case it’s- Nope! Not thinking about it!

I slam my door shut, leaning against it. Fuck. What do I do about this? Ugh! Whatever, I search through my bag, pulling out some pajamas. Oh, nice, the short ones. I throw the towel across the room, getting dressed quickly. Maybe Lydia isn’t busy and I can talk to her. I rush up the stairs, knocking lightly on her door.

“Hey Lydia, you busy?”

“I’m good, you can come in.” I open the door and find her sitting at a desk, I step in and close the door behind me.

“So, uh… Can I talk to you about something?” I know there’s a blush on my face. She’s smirking, damn it! She’s a smart kid, she could probably figure it out. Lydia nods her head towards her bed, inviting me to take a seat. I rush towards it, bringing my legs up beside me. “It’s about Beej. I um… think I… like him? Okay, that’s a lie, I _ know _I like him. But, ugh, I don’t know what to do about it!”

“You should talk to him.” I look at her face, no trace of sass or sarcasm, just a genuine smile.

“I don’t know… we only just met yesterday! Which is the worst part, _ because _we only just met yesterday and I went and-” I stopped myself, biting my lip. Lydia quirks a brow at me but says nothing. “N-Nevermind. But, isn’t it too soon for me to feel anything past friendly towards him?”

“I mean, every relationship is different. Besides, you guys are crazy similar, like that conversation you had this morning? What was up with that? I’m sure he lived through it, but you _ also _talked about it as though you were involved! Maybe you knew him in a past life or something so you’re just skipping past a couple steps you’ve already taken?” I smile at her words, calming down a bit.

“You sounded kinda like my mom just then. She would always say shit like that, that I read so much about the past that I project myself into it.” I think about that a second longer, sighing before I get back to the matter at hand. “Maybe you’re onto something, but I don’t want to just jump right into it you know?! Like… I don’t know, what if he doesn’t feel the same and he hates me for something I said or- I don’t know! I’m just nervous and confused!”

“Oh, I guarantee he wouldn’t hate you. For starters, he’s a pervert and loves any kind of attention and you should know that already. But also, I wouldn’t worry about him not feeling the- uh.” I snap my head in her direction, eyes wide. “Uh oh.”

“What? Did he say something?” Now it’s Lydia’s turn to look nervous.

“He told me not to say anything.” I think about it and a sly smile creeps onto my face.

“Technically you didn’t say anything.” I shrug, my previous nerves replaced by butterflies. God, I feel like a damn school girl. “So. He likes me back?” I think about all the times I’ve been around him, when we’ve come into contact. Hey, that reminds me. “Say, do you know what the different colors of his hair mean?”

_ A little earlier… again _

_ Holy crap. _

_ That w-what? That was my name. That fucking bombshell down the hall just moaned my name. I mean, she could have said something else, like uh… Belgian… goose. But it wasn’t. And I really hope she isn’t moaning for a Belgian goose in the shower. For multiple reasons. _

_ But back to the matter at hand here. Or the matter I have to get in my hand, as it were. _

_ I excuse myself from Lyd’s room fast as lightning -- so fast I don’t even hear my own excuse. But before I can find my own secluded corner, she’s making her way through the hall, and my jaw drops so hard for a second I’m scared that I’d dislocated it. _

_ She’s in this-this fucking towel. JUST a towel, and lemme tell ya, it’s not helping her out at all. But it sure is helping me. _

_ I’m staring right at her ass as she goes, and MAN does she have an ass. Just looking at it makes me want --noooo, no no no. _ Need _ her in my lap, right where I can touch every inch of her. _

_ A part of me wants to reach out and touch, and if it’d been pretty much anybody else, I would have. But I just- she’s not there to violate, y’know? I mean I wanna straight up violate her, don’t get me wrong. But I kinda need her to be into it. _

_ She disappears behind a door, and I’m left wondering why the hell I’m still just standing here. _

_ The first thing I do is stop in the bathroom she’d just been in, just casually, I dunno, reaching my hand in the hamper, and maybe uh -- oh yeah, there they are. _

_ Her panties. _

_ Fuckin’ jackpot. _

_ I’m not sure where I end up, but goddamn am I glad there’s nobody in here. _

_ I lean heavily against the door and undo my pants, pulling myself from my boxers. Fuck, I’m so hard it almost hurts. This chick really knows how to get me goin’. I mean, it’s not like it’s hard to give me a boner in the first place, but still. _

_ The fabric of her underwear is so goddamn soft and they- hold on --they smell like her. I have to bite back a groan when I wonder if it’d been me who’d made her panties this wet. _

_ I know I’m the reason she got herself off. _

_ If just the way she says my name gets me like this, fuck, I would probably lose whatever sanity I have left if I were to hear her lose herself under me. _

_ I spit in my palm before grabbing myself, wasting no time and quickly pumping, paying special attention to the head. God, I’d bet her pretty little mouth gives great head. _

_ But back to those noises she makes. _

_ I wanna know if she’s a screamer. God/Satan, I hope she is. If she can’t help but make noise when she’s by herself, just think of what I could do to her. _

_ I bring her panties closer to my face. She smells so good. I wonder for a second if she tastes just as good. _

_ And because I have no self-control, I lick the crotch of her panties, and oh, she does. I wish I was licking her instead of these, but I’ll take all I can get. _

_ I swipe away a bead of pre-cum, smearing it across the head of myself, picking up speed. I’m not the kinda guy who cums early or anything, but just the thought of her whimpering my name like she did is bouncing around in my mind, and I’m just trying to picture her face if she’d been at my mercy. _

_ I’d pin her down, throw her legs over my shoulders and fuck her until she couldn’t walk for days. Anything less and you’re just not doin’ it right. And believe me when I say that I’d treat this breather right. _

_ My hips jolt suddenly and my dick pulses in my hand as I lick her panties again, getting all of her that I can before I wrap the fabric around my dick, getting right back into it. Going right back to picturing her sweet little face all hot and bothered, eyes rolled back, drooling, begging me, needing me to fuck her just a little harder so she can come undone all over my cock, screaming my name. _

_ I hiss when I cum, shooting ropes of the green translucent baby batter of mine into her panties, mixing with any of her juices that were left on them. _

_ I make a noise I’m not proud of. _

_ I whimper. _

_ And then I’m standing there, panting heavily, her now-ruined underwear wrapped around my cock. _

_ I’m shell-shocked. _

_ I’ve gotten off to some real hotties before, but something like that was just… _

_ I shake my head, reality setting back in and hitting me square in the face. She’s gonna notice her underwear missing, I gotta get these back to that damn hamper. I clean myself off as best as I can, get back into my pants, and head out into the house. _

_ There’s the bathroom! Just a little farther and- _

“Beej?” _ Oh fuck! I quickly stow the panties in my jacket before she notices. Not the worst thing I have in here, probably the best, if I’m being honest. _

“Hey, babe! What uh… what’re you up to?” I look at him, his hair turning pink. I know that means he’s being lovey dovey or horny now, so thanks Lydia. Seeing that brings out my own blush, damn it Lydia!

“I came to get my laundry and clean up any dirt I left in there. Were you about to go in? Wait, do ghosts need to use the bathroom?” I honestly ponder it for a second before shaking it off.

“No I was uh… I was gonna put a worm in the toothpaste!” I quirk a brow at him.

“In _ my _toothpaste?” He’s sweating now, eyes darting around, and he- was that a whimper? Memories of my shower rush back up to me, my face on fire. I look away from him immediately, biting my lip.

“I’m just gonna-” 

“I’m just gonna-” We say in unison, neither looking at the other as we flee in opposite directions.

I am so fucked.

_ I am so fucked. _


	3. Romeo and Juicet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans will ensue. Also known as, finally!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're sensitive to douchebag guys harassing women, when you get to that part just skip to the end of the chapter and I'll give you a quick rundown! I think I'll do that for sensitive content that has story elements in it from here on out. This fic is tagged explicit for a reason, however, I do want people to be able to enjoy it all the same.

“It’s been two weeks! You would think they’d do something! Why are they being so stupid?!” Lydia paces around the attic, venting to Adam and Barbara about Beej and his “new flame”. It’s become almost routine since the garden incident. “BJ keeps trying to impress her but then almost cowers away when she gets too close. And don’t get me started on her!”

“Lydia, we know, we’ve seen it too.” Barbara chimes in, stopping the teen in her motions.

“Maybe you can find someway to get them together?” Adam adds, wrapping an arm around Barbara’s shoulders. “We had a friend that introduced us and we were smitten but were too afraid to do anything until the same friend told us, and I quote, “Just kiss her, you idiot.” And so I did.”

“Maybe we could…” Lydia trails off, taking a seat nearby. The three of them huddled, soon coming up with a few ideas.

  
  


“Hey Beej! I just got a text from Lydia, apparently she got into a fight with a teacher and wants us to be her parents?” I walk back into the living room, still looking at my phone.

“Whataya mean “be her parents”? She’s already got those.” I roll my eyes at him, continuing to read off the text.

“She said she doesn’t wanna get grounded and wants us to take care of it at the parent-teacher meeting being held. You wanna go?” Beetlejuice groans dramatically, slumping further into the couch, becoming a literal puddle.

“But our show is on! I don’t wanna move!” Whiner, I lock my phone and say nothing as I walk to my room, knowing full well he’s watching. A few minutes later I come out, makeup done and dressed up a fair bit.

“Well, I’m gonna go save Lyds whether you’re coming or not.”

“Wait, you’re going dressed like that?” He sits up, eyes dragging up and down my form, taking it all in. I wouldn’t call it inappropriate, but this rather tight black dress has gotten me a few free drinks thanks to its low cut neckline. It stops midthigh, I tug at the sleeves just a bit before brushing out any wrinkles with my hands.

“I am, don’t want Lydia to get detention or anything, figured I might put on a show or something. And since you’re not going-”

“Hey wait whoa, who said I wasn’t going?” He’s leapt up from the couch, looking a lot less grimy, but no less strange. His suit has no tatters in it, no moss covering any part of him. I do a little walk around him, looking Beej over completely. I stop when I get back around to his front, a teasing smile on my lips.

“Fine, but we’re gonna have to play the part, you get that, right?” I offer him my arm which he accepts rather quickly, a wide grin on his face.

“Can we keep pretending when we get back, too?  _ Darling? _ ” I repress a shudder at the way he purrs the nickname and start walking us out of the house.

“Only if you behave,  _ dear. _ I’m just glad the school isn’t too far away.” Beej gives an exaggerated groan and --is he doing what I think he’s doing? “Are you rubbing your fucking nipple?!”

“You get me going babe, what can I say? Besides, no one can see me right now, remember?” He smirks at me, pinching his nipple in spite. Lucky for me we were passing a couple buildings at that moment. I pulled him in between them and pinned him against the wall, leaning in real close.

“ _ Beetlejuice. _ ” His eyes are on me, unblinking, not missing a second of it. I get my lips just a hair’s width away from his. “ _ Beetlejuice. _ ”

“Oh god damn it…” He sounds breathless, hands hovering above my waist, hesitant to touch it. I move slowly, keeping eye contact until I’m right next to his ear and whisper as seductively as I can.

“ _ Beetlejuice. _ ” Before he can make a single move, I pull back and continue walking down the street.

Since I found out he likes me back, we've been playing this game of cat and mouse. Maybe we're testing each other? Seeing how far the other will go? I don't know, nor do I care, it's too fun. Last week I asked him for a back rub,  _ god _ those hands of his are something else. I thought I'd come undone just from that!

I hear him shout in frustration before he manages to catch up to me, turned to talk to me full on as we walk. 

“Hey, I know we’re busy and all, but last I checked you can’t just walk into a school with a dick this hard. Mind helping me out?” He gestures to his crotch, waggling his eyebrows. I snort a little, embarrassment clear as a blush rises to my cheeks.

“Behave and we’ll see what happens.” I keep my eyes forward to try and cool off my heated cheeks.

“Babes, you summoned me and we’re going to a school. Y’know, full of the easiest breathers to scare. That’s impossible!” Finally we arrive, I look at Beej with a face of false sympathy and pat his cheek.

“Aww, sounds like a you problem, darling.” With a giggle, I walk in the front door. “Lydia said she was in her science class. $10 says her teacher wanted her to dissect another frog or something.”

“I’ll take that bet. It was probably that bitch of a classmate again. I swear, if that kid did anything to Lydia she’s gonna wish…” He starts mumbling to himself about threats. I smile at him softly.

“You really care about Lydia, don’t you?” I seem to startle him out of his thoughts and he looks back over at me and smiles.

“Well duh. We’re BFFFFs forever.” He opens the door for me, taking a deep bow and gesturing for me to enter. Let the show begin!

“Thank you, dear. Lydia! What’s this you told me about trouble?” Beej joins me as I approach the teacher’s desk where she was sitting.

“We hurried over as soon as we could.” He finishes for me, the teacher looks us over and seems satisfied with our appearance, well, when his eyes weren’t lingering on my breasts or Beej’s bright green hair. The skinny prick stands up, straightening his tie before offering his hand to Beej. I get a good look at him, his wire frame glasses making his head even smaller than it already looked. I might not be that tall, but I could quite literally pick this guy up and throw him through a window. I’ll keep that in mind, actually.

“Hello, Mr. Deetz.” Beej takes his hand, giving him a tight handshake, earning an almost inaudible gasp. The teacher retracts his hand, cradling it to his chest for a moment. “Would you and your wife take a seat?”

“Gladly.” I feel a hand on my lower back as Beej guides me to a seat next to him. I bite the inside of my cheek to hold back a blush at the contact. When we sit his hand moves to rest on my thigh. Oh I get it, revenge for the alley, is it? I glance over to him and he’s just grinning from ear to ear.

“Now I’m sure you remember me, I’m Mr. Riley, and today I’ve called you here for the same reasons I’ve called you for in the past.” He has once again filled his seat behind the desk, folding his slender fingers together.

“Dissection issues?” I arch a brow at the man as high as I can get it. Beej holds back a laugh at my over-the-top Delia impression.

“Well yes,” I jab a finger in Beej’s side in victory, “but also trouble with Kheightlhynn-”

“Yes,” Beetlejuice turns to look at you, the reader, “I know what you’re thinkin’, and no, you’re not having a stroke. That’s pronounced “Caitlin”, just in case you were confused. And yes, we’re taking a jab at it. We kinda have to. I know I’ve got a weird name, but holy shit.” He turns back to the story conversation, a bit bristled at the mention of No-I’m-Not-Gonna-Spell-That-Again. “What happened this time?”

“Well, um, Mr. Deetz,” the poor bastard didn’t look like he was too terribly used to being questioned by a demon. Oh well. “Lydia refused to dissect the frog during class today, claiming once again it’s against her religion. For starters, no religion I’m aware of has any restrictions like that.”

“We’re pagan. Are you saying our religion isn’t real to you?” I place a hand over my chest, feigning offense and bringing forth some crocodile tears, once again Beej has to try really hard not to laugh.

“N-No ma’am, of course not!” Mr. Riley backtracks, holding his hands up in surrender. “I-I simply meant organized religions!”

“So you  _ are  _ saying that!” I do my best to make my laughs sounds like sobs, hiding my smile behind my hand. Beej puts his hand on my shoulders to comfort me.

“Darling, I’ll take care of this.” He whispers to me, I just look at Lydia. She looks as though she can’t decide whether to laugh or leave. “Look here, Mr. Ridiculous-”

“I-It’s Riley.” The teacher tries to correct, sounding more nervous than ever.

“You think I give a fuck? You called us down here, while we were at work mind you, to tell us that Lydia is upholding our family beliefs and is being bullied by the same classmate as last time, and to make my wife cry! The next time you decide to call us about this shit, I’ll be informing the school board about your intolerance of our beliefs. Lydia, darling wife, let’s go home.” Beej stands abruptly when he finished his tirade, walking towards the door only stopping for a moment as he placed his hand atop one of the desks, I could almost swear I saw a worm or two suddenly appear in it, who knows how many more are further in. Three guesses at who's desk that is.

“Coming dear.” My voice shaky from more held in laughter, I stand with Lydia, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her out of the room. Beej follows close behind, waiting until we’re out of the building to let out a good laugh.

“Look, I might not have had the most exciting time out, but holy shit, did you see his face?!” We all have a well earned laugh at Mr. Riley’s expense, tears flowing.

“I didn’t think I could keep up the sobbing act anymore, I thought that guy was gonna pass out!” I look at Lydia, grinning. “So, what actually happened?” 

“Well, he did try to get me to dissect a frog. Again. And when I refused Kh-”

“Ugh, don’t even say her name.” Beej complains, slowly regaining all of his usual dirt and tatters back.

“Okay, well, when I refused, she started going on about how I was so “in love” with the dead that I was more likely to marry a dead guy than a living one.”

“I mean, she’s not wrong. You did marry me, even if it was brief. Very. Brief.” They both have a good laugh but I’ve stopped walking. He did what?! He married Lydia?!

“Beetlejuice?!” He freezes, hearing his name called so furiously catching him severely off guard.

“Yes, oh darling wife of mine-”

“Can it! What do you mean you married Lydia?” With every word I step closer to him, he backs away from me, hands raised, until he’s backed against a wall. He seems to realize that he’s slipped up very quickly, brows raised as fear flashes across his face for a moment.

“It was a green card thing! I just wanted to be alive again!” I tilted my head at his words, confused. I look at Lydia, she just shrugs.

“I killed him right after, if that makes it any better.” This just gets weirder and weirder. I take a second to process this.

“Okay, so. You,” I turned back to Beetlejuice, “married an underage girl in a ghostly-green card type situation and then got murdered by said underage girl?”

“Yes! But I would’ve married anybody who was alive that had come around, honestly. No offense Lydia.” She just rolls her eyes at him before smirking like a devil.

“Before you think about forgiving him, ask him where his body is.” Beej’s hair turns pale yellow.

“Lydia, we’re friends! Don’t turn me in like this!” 

“No no no. Tell me where it is.”

Silence.

“Where’s your body, Beetlejuice?”

He averts his eyes with a nervous laugh before replying, “Well… you’re pretty familiar with the spot!”

When his eyes meet mine, there’s a pang of guilt there, and then it’s like a lightbulb goes off over my head. With his reaction, there’s only one place I could think of. I grab the front of his suit and pull him close.

“You let me start a garden on top of your rotting corpse?!” My voice, low and dangerous, is probably getting my anger across pretty well, because I blink and suddenly my hands are empty. I look around and find Beej a few feet away.

“Sorry, couldn’t stand being in the hot seat anymore.” He points at a chair on fire. “I didn’t want you to get scared and leave. Because I’d imagine me sayin’ “Hey new girl! Don’t start your random garden there! My dead body is under there!” Isn’t exactly something that’s gonna wanna make you stick around. That’s why I sent you on the arm hunt, so I could make sure you didn’t dig too deep. And it’s doing alright, so I don’t see what th-”

“Then why rip up the entire thing? And speaking of, you still haven’t apologized for showering me in dirt!” I cross my arms over my chest.

“I noticed you planted root veggies and needed to see if it was deep enough or needed to be buried deeper.” He steps back over to me and looks down, ashamed. “Also, I am sorry for covering you in dirt.”

“Dead body dirt.” Lydia adds.

“Yes. Thank you, peanut gallery.” Beej tosses a few peanuts at the girl, making her giggle. Glad somebody’s having fun. “I didn’t think you’d come back outside.” His hair gains a couple streaks of blue, but I’m not about to cave that easily!

“You didn’t tell me any of this. I’m not just gonna forget that, especially the fact you married a little girl and let me make a garden on top of your corpse. You’re just gonna have to figure out how to make it up to me.” I turn away and continue the walk home, but not before sending Beej back. “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.”

  
  


_ God damn it! It’s been two days and she still isn’t talking to me! I’ve settled for just laying on her lap while she does it. But if I stay too long she gets up and goes somewhere else. I guess I’ll try making her laugh again. _

“Hey, babe, look at me! Please, I promise it’ll be worth it.”  _ I know she can’t resist, she’s too curious. Oh, there she is! Quick, think of something! I turn my eyes into Magic 8 Balls and send ‘em spinning, when they stop the little blue part pops up, she can’t help but lean in closer. I hold my breath, hopefully she doesn’t hate me for this. _

_ I quickly grab her by the arms and lift her to stand with me before I hold her in a deep dip, I finish it off by making my blue thingy eyes say “Try again?” She reads them and bursts into laughter for only a moment, a blush rising. I grin, she fucking laughed! She bites her lip (oh fuck) and looks away. _

“Beetlejuice, could you please put me down?”  _ Oh I missed her voice, I happily put her back on the couch, eyes back to normal. Success! She laughed  _ and _ talked to me! I think she’s still smiling, gotta think of something else! _

Elsewhere in the house, Lydia and the Maitlands are once again plotting.

“I thought having them act like a married couple would work!” Lydia starts, plopping back down in the chair. “But now she’s not even talking to him.”

“Maybe we try something else now, lock them in a closet maybe?” Barbara suggests with a shrug. Adam shakes his head, pacing.

“We can save that for a last resort, but not yet. Oh! I’ve got it!” He looks at the girls, excited. “We can try one of our old classes.”

“Adam, sweetie, we can’t leave the house.”

“I know, but what if we make the class ourselves? Try a little theater, perhaps? Those two are pretty dramatic, maybe it’ll work.” This seems to bring the other two around.

“Okay, there’s a pretty good chance there. But, you’re in charge this time. I still have to finish the assignment she gave me the other day.” Lydia stands up, looking between the pair. “You think you can handle them by yourself?”

“Please, this should be fine, right Barbara?” Adam looks to his wife, holding a hand out.

Please, please,  _ please. _ Something needs to happen right now before I crack! Beetlejuice is starting to eyeball me while holding a comically large feather.

“Come on! If you don’t tell me where your tickle spots are, I’ll have no choice but to find them myself!” I bite my lip and stare straight ahead, not moving a muscle. “Still not talking, huh? Your funeral-”

“Hey you two! What do you think about-” Adam makes his way downstairs to find me being pinned to the couch by Beej and his feather.

“Adam! A little help please!”

“Oh, so you’ll talk to him, but not me?” Beej sits back, mock offended.

“Enough. I wanted to know if you two wanted to join me and Barbara for a little theater night!” Adam announces, I just stare at him.

“Uh, I think I’ll pass. Never was the best at theater.” That wipes the smile off Adam’s face.

“Now that’s shit and you know it. Besides, it’d be good for you guys.” Nope, I’m not gonna do it, I look away from him too. Beej jumps next to me.

“Babe, please, it’ll be fun!” Nuh-uh. Not getting off of this couch.

“If you don’t say yes, I’ll let Beetlejuice put you in his own “get-along” shirt until you start talking to him again.” Beej gasps super loudly in my ear.

“There is nothing I want more than to be inside your shirt-”

“Okay, I’ll do that damn class.” Adam cheers and Beej deflates a little, I just stand up. “So, where are we doing it?”

“Well, we actually have a spare room that no one was using that Barbara and I set up just for this! Follow me!” Adam leads us away excitedly, taking us to a room on the main floor that, sure enough, looks like it was recently being used by a high school drama club. Barbara was sitting with a copy of-

“Oh fuck no!” I glare at the tiny book, hoping it would catch fire under my gaze.

“What’sa matter? Afraid of the Bard?” Beej taunts, walking in dramatically, hand to his forehead. “If you can’t do this, I guess I’ll have no choice but to bust out the shirt.” Evil bastard.

“Fine, but I wanna be Romeo.” I step over and accept a copy from Barbara, flipping through to the bookmarked scene.

“Hey, if you’re gonna be like that we can always do a scene from my musical!”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He circles me once before turning his attention to the copy of the book in my hands, reading over what they picked out.

“Come on, you can’t be serious?” Adam nods, already setting himself up for his part. Barbara soon follows, damn it. Here we go, I guess. Adam starts, taking up the role of Juliet’s father, Barbara fills in the spot of Tybalt. She and Adam argue back and forth about whether or not to allow Romeo, me, to continue enjoying the party.

“Go to, go to. You are a saucy boy. Is ’t so, indeed? This trick may chance to scathe you, I know what. You must contrary me. Marry, ’tis time.— Well said, my hearts!—You are a princox, go. Be quiet, or—More light, more light!—For shame! I’ll make you quiet.—What, cheerly, my hearts!” Adam sweeps through the room overdramatically, Barbara looking after him.

“Patience perforce with willful choler meeting makes my flesh tremble in their different greeting. I will withdraw, but this intrusion shall. Now seeming sweet, convert to bitterest gall.” Barbara storms to the side of the room, Beej enters the middle, having changed his suit into a lovely striped dress. It fits him pretty well. But damn it! I can’t let him woo me like that! I’m still not happy with him. Ugh, Beetlebitch. 

I step carefully towards him, taking one of his hands into mine.

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand. To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.” Beej bats his comically long eyelashes at me and giggles, his hair turning a faint pink at the tips.

“Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.” I quirk a brow as I smirk at him, trying to wipe the expression away as fast as I could. If I focus too much on our lines, I’ll end up actually kissing him! Gotta think of something.

“Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?” Beej is having too much fun with this, a flirtatious pout on his lips.

“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.” Hands… hands! Okay, I have a plan, just need to get through these last lines.

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” I can  _ feel _ his excitement, hopefully this doesn’t hurt him too badly.

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.” Beej leans forward for the kiss, but instead, I hold a hand up, puppet style, and make loud smooching noises. He sees this and starts laughing, doing it back, our hands doing the kissing for us. “Th-Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is p-purged.” I struggle through my line, laughing the entire time.

“Then-” he’s still laughing, “then have my lips the sin that they have took.”

“Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.” And the hand kisses starts up again, before we know it, we’re on the floor in a heap, holding our sides from laughing so hard. The only thing that could’ve made this funnier was some googly eyes.

Adam and Barbara watch the idiotic pair, shaking their heads. They sigh and take leave, unnoticed, letting the other two continue their game. Finding themselves at Lydia’s bedroom, Adam knocks on her door.

“Come in!” They enter, looking a bit down. “Didn’t work?”

“No, they ended up making their hands kiss. Pretty sure they’re still on the floor, laughing.” Adam responds, he and Barbara sit on the bed, Lydia nods her head a bit.

“Can’t say I’m honestly surprised, they can take anything and do that. At least they’re having fun again.”

“True, should we give them a bit in between, or should we just go for it?” Barbara asks, looking a bit devious.

“Maybe if they’re in a good mood it’ll work. Go ahead and give it a shot.” Lydia agrees, watching Barbara run from the room excitedly. Adam stands, shaking his head with a smile.

“She sure has changed since we died.” He quickly follows behind her, closing Lydia’s door behind him.

Beej and I are laying on the floor next to each other, staring at the ceiling while we catch our breath. Does he really have to? Probably not. I sigh, looking over to him, the movement catching his attention as he turns to face me as well.

“I’m sorry… I just wanted to be angry, drive home the point of “don’t hide things from me” and I kinda took it too far.” He smiles, his hair turning an electric green.

“Nah, you’re fine. I almost broke you earlier though.” He raises his brows, daring me to argue with him, that handsome grin on his lips. I just chuckle, turning to face the ceiling again.

“Yeah, yeah you did.” I hear footsteps enter the room and look up to find Barbara looking a bit frustrated.

“You guys are taller than me, could you help? I need to get something off the top shelf of the hall closet.” I look at Beej and shrug, standing up.

“I got this. Show me the closet.” She leads me to said closet, pointing to a very tall shelf.

“I need that box up there.” Barbara pouts with a huff. Adorable. I push up my sleeves.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it for you.” I step in and stretch as far as I can, my fingers only barely grazing the box. I hear a groan from behind me.

“Move over, short stuff.” Beej pushes me to the side to get into the closet. The second he’s in, the door slams closed. I turn around and try to turn the knob only for it to fall out of its place.

“Uh, guys?” I listen for them on the other side, hearing nothing. “Hey Beej, I think we got played.” God, it was such a stupid trick, too. She’s a GHOST. She could’ve just floated up to the box if she needed to. I shake my head, turning to face him again when it hits me just how small the closet really is. My chest nearly pressed again his. I feel my heart speed up and a blush creep up my face, I step back as much as I can. I don’t get very far. “Wonder if they realized the knob would break.”

“Y-Yeah. No telling.”  _ I can  _ smell  _ her pheromones, she’s gotta be blushin’ like crazy. if I don’t get us out of here soon I’m gonna do something I’ll regret. Well, the way I do it I’ll regret. I mean, she’d probably love nothing more than to be pinned to the doorway and- oh boy, not goin’ there. We’re so close she could probably feel me gettin’ all excited. With a snap, the door flies off the hinges and I rush out, trying to clear my nose, but I guess forcing the door open like that did something for her, because it got stronger. Note to self. _

“Hey, you okay? Maybe we should go for a walk? Get away from any more bright ideas from Adam and Barbara?”  _ Maybe some fresh air would do me some good. _

“Sure thing, babe.” Oh good, he agreed. He starts walking in front of me, leading the way outside. We walk side by side in silence, first to the end of the driveway, but then we just keep going, eventually finding our way into town. Jeez, things are feeling a little tense, maybe I should lighten the mood?

“You know, it almost seems like Adam and Barbara are trying to set us up or something.” Really? Of all the things to talk about,  _ that’s _ what I say?! I give an awkward laugh, but Beej’s hair is a mix of yellow with pink tips.

“What if… what I’m trying to say is, would you-”

“Hey baby! Ain’t seen you around here before!” Someone shouts at me, I look around only to find a man who I could only describe as a football star in highschool but never went anywhere with it so he just married his sweetheart and settled down but still works out because he isn’t happy and wants to relive his glory days. You know what I mean.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of weirdos around here.” I try to say pointedly, doesn’t seem like he got the message.

“Oh I know. You seen the people in that house on the hill? Buncha freaks, them. How about you and I go somewhere? Get to know each other?” He leans in close and I can smell his shitty cologne he uses to mask his insecurity. I place a hand on his chest and push him backwards a bit.

“No thanks.” Before I can pull my hand back he grabs it tight.

“C’mon sweetheart, pretty little thing like you shouldn’t be walking around by herself.” He presses  _ way _ too close. “Never know what could happen to you.” I can’t get away, there’s only one thing I can do, I look at Beej behind this creep, fear in my eyes. His hair is already scarlet, he’s just waiting.

“Beetlejuice.”

“What was that?”

“Beetlejuice.” The man is right next to my ear now.

“I still didn’t hear you, sugar.” His ear is in perfect placement, my eyes dart back to Beej, his voice comes out as a growl.

“One more babe, just one more and I’ll take care of this son of a bitch for you.” Too easy, I take in a deep breath and scream as loud as possible.

“BEETLEJUICE!!!” The creep lets go of me and backs up a couple steps, holding his possibly busted ear, eyes closed tight.

“You little bitch, I’ll fucking get you for that.” Beej steps between us, handing me his coat.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Sleazebag looks up, glaring at both of us. I wrap the jacket around myself, feeling much safer now.

“Oh yeah? Who the fuck are you?” He puffs up, trying to look bigger than Beej, ending up only being about the same size. “You’re one of those damn circus freaks, aren’t you?”

“Damn right I am, and you just messed with my fucking girl.” Beej pushes his sleeves up and the creep laughs.

“Oh, so you’re gonna fight me for your little whore, are you? Bring it, clown.” This guy is about to learn the hard way to pick his fights better. Beej chuckles darkly, the sound bringing a delightful shiver up my back.

“Not fight.  _ Fright.” _ Oh that growl does things to me. Suddenly his face splits down the middle, revealing dozens of snakes and razor sharp teeth. The random groper jumps back and falls flat on his ass, screaming as he scurries away. Beej’s face goes back to normal and he shouts after him. “AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!” My eyes widen, cheeks on fire. Is that what he was trying to say earlier? I giggle, stepping to his side.

“Girlfriend, huh?” I question, a smirk on my lips. He looks at me and deflates, realizing what he said, hair turning blue.

“O-Oh I uh, well what I meant was-” Feeling brave, I shut him up with a kiss to the cheek, his hair a mess of electric green and hot pink.

“Hope that means we’re dating now.” I grab onto his arm, his eyes darting to his jacket wrapped around me, his face splits into a wide grin.

“Damn right it does, babe!” I lean my head on him, sliding one of my hands into his as we make our way back to the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader being harassed, Beej gets mad and has to wait for her to summon him, she does and in the process gets the guy away from her, Beej scares the shit out of the guy and yells "AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!" and now they are dating.


	4. Same Old Song and Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Come on Beej, dance with me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these last few chapters have seemed more like a collection of oneshots, but with this one we're starting to introduce some story! We hope you enjoy it!

It's been a month and a half since I sorta moved into the Deetz/Maitland house. Three weeks of which I've been dating the resident demon, Beetlejuice. It's been… exciting is probably the best word for it. 

He spends a lot of time either snuggled up to me or distracting me with jokes and pranks. One of these days I'm gonna prank _ him. _ I think I'm developing abs from all the laughing. He’s been really sweet and patient with me, not begging for anything, always asking before we cuddle. You’d think he’d be all over me like white on rice, what, with his less-than-gentlemanly ways. But we haven’t even kissed yet! I think he’s wanting to make it super special or something, but I just want to give him a smooch. But not everything is roses and sunshine. There's also some not so nice excitement.

Since meeting him, I'll have a nightmare every so often, personally I consider it a side effect of Beej, but something about them is weird. I always feel like I'm looking for something, and I always die. Not unusual for nightmares, but I don't wake up on my own after that. I see the afterlife afterwards, without fail. And I’m surrounded by this same indescribable feeling every time without fail. Thankfully Beej tends to stick around at night to wake me up, but sometimes he goes on a bio-exorcist job and I'll have to endure the entire thing. Those… those are the bad nights. They feel so real. 

But when I'm working around the house he'll help, only... in his own way. If I'm trying to dust a high place he'll levitate me up without warning, especially if I'm in a skirt. Or if I'm washing dishes he'll turn his head into a fan and dry them like that. Today he’s off on one of his jobs, so I actually have the house to myself! Caught up on my lessons for Lydia, I figured I might do a bit dusting and sweeping of the foyer.

I set my phone up on the sound system, letting my playlist shuffle through the songs as I opened up windows and blinds, letting in as much light as possible. It’s so much nicer to clean like this. I take up the broom and get to sweeping, the motion pulling me into a small dance as I go along, swaying to the music, losing myself in song.

_ What a stupid set of breathers, scared so easily you’d think they wanted an excuse to leave that dump. Whatever, I’m back home now and I want nothin’ but to just snuggle up to- why the hell are all the windows open? Wait… is that music? I get to the landing at the top of the stairs and see her, singing away, voice of an angel. I know my hair is bright pink as I float to the floor, laying there, just watching her. Sounds like a new song is starting, God/Satan I hope it’s one she can sing to. _

“_ I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile while you are sleeping while you’re far away and dreaming. _ ” Oh, I love this song, wish I had the courage to sing it to Beej one of these days, I’m sure he’d love it. “ _ I could spend my life in this sweet surrender. I could stay lost in this moment forever.” _

_ I know the feeling, just listening to her is making my chest feel all warm and fuzzy. I gotta do something… oh! Lightbulb! I got it! _

I’m halfway through the first chorus when I feel the broom disappear from my hands, only to be replaced by Beej! My face lights up as he moves our hands to their proper dancing positions. I clam up, my face burning from a deep blush.

“Don’t stop on my account, babe.” He gives me a smirk before sweeping us away into a waltz (kind of), soon enough we’re dancing to the music, my singing guiding us through the steps. My eyes lock with his, his face soft, gaze tender, I feel myself melting under it. Soon I’m not even singing, we’re just dancing, just being together and- my feet aren’t on the ground! My eyes widen at the realization and Beej laughs a little, how I love that sound. I just shake my head, smile still ever present on my lips, and I rest my head on his chest. His arm around my waist tightens, pulling me closer to him.

Soon enough, the floor meets my feet once again. Curious, I look at Beej, and all my thoughts vanish at the sight of him. That tender gaze back, his eyes are damn near heart-shaped. I don’t know who leaned in first, but I do know is that my eyes are closed and suddenly his lips are on mine, and we’re moving in sync with one another. This is the softest I’ve ever seen him --ever felt him. He’s so gentle and careful, I wonder for a moment if I’m kissing the wrong ghost. I’m so wrapped in my own head that I almost don’t notice a flash and a click from a ways away. Was that a… camera flash? Oh, who cares? All that matters right now is the fact that I’m finally kissing the only person I’ve really wanted to in a long, long time. We part after a moment, and his eyes are sparkling. I can’t help the tiny laugh that leaves me as I feel my cheeks heat up even more (if that were even possible) before I lean forward to capture his mouth in a kiss again. His hand moves to cup my face, and I hold him as close as humanly (and I guess… inhumanly) possible.

The soft music still floating through the air is the only thing that reminds me of the time passing, because when he kisses me, the rest of the world ceases to exist… I could do this forever.

When we part for breath, his hand remains on my face, his thumb absentmindedly stroking my cheek as he smirks at me. It’s not his typical smirk, though. It’s soft. Tender.

I break the comfortable silence between us as I break eye contact, laughing a little. I can’t believe that just happened. That was probably one of the most romantic things I’ve ever been in the middle of.

“Beej?”

His attention is all mine as he answers. “Yes, Angel?”

I look up at him in surprise. Angel, huh?

“I-I mean uh,” He parts from me quick as a flash, and in a puff of smoke that envelops him, he’s standing before me in some sort of… oh my god, is that an Elvis costume?

“I mean uh, ya look like an angel,” He’s even doing a crappy impression. It takes everything I have not to laugh. “Thank ya, thank ya very much.”

I quirk a brow, noting his pink and yellow hair sticking out from the terribly made black wig. I know what pink hair means, but what was yellow again…? Oh. Oh, he’s embarrassed. This is too cute.

I step forward, removing the sunglasses from his face to look him in the eye before wrapping my arms around his middle.

“If you get to call me Angel, what do I get to call you?”

He smirks with a nervous laugh and a wink. “You can call me anytime.”

I snort with laughter as we lean forward, our foreheads touching and eyes closing. “Seriously,” I smile, booping his nose with mine and waiting for him to continue. He nervously mutters something, and I figure I’ll put him out of his embarrassed misery.

“Can I call you ‘Bugaboo’?”

My soft question is met with him melting into my touch, a light laugh leaving him.

“Sounds good to me,” His hands snake around me as he pulls me close, dipping me. “Angel.”

I wrap my arms around his neck, trying to match his smirk. “I’m glad you like it,” I pull myself impossibly closer. “Bugaboo.”

He closes the space between us, and between his strong arms around me and his lips against mine, I melt against him completely, feeling right at home.

Before anything can escalate, however, the clearing of a throat shatters the atmosphere, and Beej and I freeze after our lips part, looking towards the source.

Iiiiit’s Lydia. Fantastic.

“If you’re done seducing my tutor, I think it’s time to get on with the uh, lesson.” She looks very smug and amused from her spot on the stairs. “Unless there’s some other lessons going on here I should leave you two to-”

“No!” Beetlejuice and I scramble apart, his Elvis costume gone, his very pink hair now on clear display. As a quick side note, my cheeks and his hair match. “No, I’ve got some-”

“Yeah, our lesson is-”

“Got some bugs I’ve gotta- Y’know, put in Donna’s pillowcase!”

“Delia.” I correct quietly, straightening my clothes out.

“Yeah, her too.”

And with that, he’s gone. The only trace that he was here is the red Elvis scarf he’d draped over my shoulders when I hadn’t been paying attention.

There’s a painfully loud silence.

“S-so I’m gonna grab your lesson for the day.”

Lydia makes her way down the stairs completely, eyeing up the scarf before walking past me to sit at the table.

“Thank ya very much.” Her terrible impression of Elvis is followed by a quiet laugh, and I’m left alone in the living room with nothing but Beej’s scarf and my burning cheeks.

_ A little earlier... _

Lydia enters the house, music finding its way into her ears. _ She must be cleaning again. _Deciding not to bother her tutor just yet, Lydia carefully sneaks upstairs, getting out of her school uniform before exiting and seeing the display before her. Beetlejuice has her in a dance, both of them floating in the air. Unable to help herself, Lydia quickly grabs her camera and waits for the perfect moment. 

When the couple (finally) kisses, she snaps a few pictures, hoping not to disturb them. Satisfied, she steps back into her room, closing the blackout blinds and getting the process started, giving the happy couple a bit more time together.

Once the pictures are hanging up to dry, Lydia carefully exits her room, locking the door behind her so no one ruins the developing photos, and decides to make her presence known.

  
  


After Lydia and I had gotten on a roll and into her lessons, the pink tint has almost disappeared completely from my cheeks, and I’m able to focus.

“... So do you remember what began the-”

The book I’d been reading my questions off of suddenly begins floating away, and before I can reach up and grab it, it’s high above my head. I turn in my chair to see Beetlejuice, sitting smugly in the air by the doorway.

I sigh, looking from him to my notebook with a light laugh.

“Beej, come on. We’re almost done!”

He floats over, notebook now in his hand as he flips through the pages, raising his brows. Probably at my handwriting.

“Alrighty, Angel. I’ll give you your book back. Buuuuuut,” He lowers it like he’s about to give it back, only to yank it away with a laugh when I get up from my chair to reach for it.

He floats away, tossing it back and forth between his hands as he watches me scramble up and after him.

“You’ve gotta work for it!” His teasing tone indicates he really doesn’t mean any harm, but he’s still interrupting my teaching.

“Bugaboo, c’mon-”

He laughs as he keeps playing keep-away, and I can’t help but laugh along with him. His laughter is contagious!

I stand on the sofa and stand on my tippy-toes in an attempt to reach him, still laughing along. Lydia watches us with a soft expression from the table.

“Lawrence, I swear to whatever god, give me my notebook back!”

His laughter stops as soon as I say his name, and he watches me with an unreadable expression, my laughter keeping up as I kept stretching, raising my brows at him.

He hands it over suddenly, and his mood has shifted drastically. There’s a single blue streak in his hair on the left side. If you didn’t know him, you would have missed it.

“The fuck did you just call me?”

Jeez, that’s quite the reaction. I get down from the couch, flipping back to the page I was on in my notebook before looking back up at him.

“...Lawrence?”

He’s floating right in front of me now, confusion thrown in with expression on his face. He lands, standing in front of me.

“That’s my first name. How do you know that?”

I blink at him, confused.

“I dunno,” I think on it for a moment. How did I know that? “You just… look like a Lawrence.”

He still looks really conflicted about something before coughing out some half-assed excuse about why he has to leave before disappearing completely. Well, that was one hell of a 180 degree turn, huh?

Lydia looks just as confused as I feel, but I simply shake it off and get back to our table, chalking it up to Beetlejuice being… y’know, himself.

“What was that?”

I shrug, opening the page and going to continue our lesson, but before I have the chance to speak, I cough, quickly stopped when I tuck my face into my elbow.

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah, ugh-” I take a drink of water. Oy, that burns a little. “I hope I'm not coming down with anything…” I shake my head, holding my throat for a moment before getting back to business.

“Anyway, flip back to chapter twenty-three, okay? We’ll pick up there and then be finished for the day.”

And from there on, our lesson continues uninterrupted.


	5. Sick and Sassy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little cough can sure go a long way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so sorry it took so long to get you all a new chapter, but I might have a couple more after this that'll hopefully get posted soon. Thank you all so much for the nice comments, I promise I read every single one of them. Things start getting a bit wild here, so without further ado, the chapter! <3

This. Cough. Won’t. Stop! The damn thing hit me a few days ago, I’ve taking medicine, been drinking hot tea with honey and lemon, nothing is working! Maybe it’s just one of those seasonal coughs that goes away on its own. Either way, it’s getting harder to hide from Beej, I don’t want to worry him with a little cough. Even if it  _ has _ been going on for a little over a week now. Good thing he’s off on a job today.

I wander through the house, trying to distract myself with anything that could hold my attention, and don’t even notice Delia coming up behind me. Suddenly there’s a couple crystals being held to my chest and I’m lashing out, trying to tear free.

“Shh! Be quiet, you need silence for it to work.” Her voice barely above a whisper, finally letting me know who it was.

“Delia? What the hell are you doing?” I turn around to face her, she holds out a couple crystals I can’t place immediately, grin on her face.

“I’m trying to help you! I’ve been hearing you cough for the past few days and thought I’d whip something up! Here.” Once again, she presses the crystals to my chest, she’s giving me that look of hers. The one that basically says “please humor me because I actually believe in this and want to help”. So I accept it, doing my best to stifle several coughs, before she pulls back, pleased with her work. While the chill of the stones was kinda nice, it didn’t solve jack shit. I mutter a thank you before hurrying to the nearest bathroom.

Unable to hold it back any longer, I let loose a flurry of coughing and hacking, slamming the door shut behind me. Damn it Delia! You couldn’t have had an actual remedy? Now I'm coughing even harder because I wanted to spare her feelings, nearly dropping to my knees from the force. Once my hacking calms down I notice a loud scraping noise on the other side of the door. I crack it open only enough to see Delia arguing over the couch with Charles.

"It's the feng shui. It's not-"

"Delia, it's not the fen-"

"Move the couch! Quickly! Before she falls even more ill!" Delia manages to move the couch herself, Charles simply shaking his head at her actions. Delia pauses for a moment, as if trying to feel the room before launching into another set of demands.

"That lamp needs to be on the far wall!"

"Delia, darling, please. I-" I couldn’t hear anymore as a much lessened bout of coughs made its way forth. Charles turns toward my direction, having heard me. I straighten up quickly, hoping to just be ignored, but alas, Charles crosses the room and opens the door. “As for you, you need to take it easy, get some rest. The house won’t fall apart without you working on it for just a bit, at least until that cough is out of your system.”

“I’m fine, I just need some soup or something.” He gives me that disapproving dad look and steps aside, allowing me passage. “Really guys, thank you though.” I head towards my room, a little glad it’s not upstairs, and decide it would be nice to take a nap for once. As soon as I’m through the door, I flop onto the bed with a small smile. “Treat yo’ self.” I giggle, a small cough leaving me before I shut my eyes and fade into my dreams easily.

Lydia is sitting in class when she receives a text from her father, asking her to pick up some soup on her way home for their newly sick guest. Her father vents a little, talking about Delia sneaking into her room while she's asleep and leaves the crystals on her bedside table, much to his displeasure. Lydia asks if He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named is around to help her, to which Charles confirms he's still away on his "job", but asks if she could possibly text him as well, maybe he can convince this tutor from hell to stay in bed.

With school finally over, Lydia heads for the local grocery store, taking the time to grab some extra tissues. While the cashier adds up her items, Lydia decides to send Beetlejuice a message. "Got you a phone so you could text back, Beej…" She mutters to herself after a moment.

"Miss, are you gonna pay?" The cashier gets her attention once more, getting a soft apology as she pays and grabs her stuff to leave. On the walk home she gets a message.

_ Lyyydzzz: Hey BJ, your girlfriend is sick and is too stubborn to rest, come get her _

_ BJ: Sick??? Shit, I'll be right there _

_ I hate it when people are sick. It's not that it's gross, I love all that, it's watching them. Breathers. So damn fragile, being sick takes them away from you before you know it. While it’s great for business, it’s not so great for uh...y’know, people you care about and stuff. Ah, Angel, you're strong, stronger than… Arghh, I can't think like that! I'll be there soon, babes, and I'm gonna take care of you so good! _

I’m still in bed, my head's a bit fuzzy, and I feel all lightweight, but I swear I can hear four different people arguing about who's coming in. And all I can wonder is...why? I chuckle to myself as I sit up, this'll be fun. I wrap a blanket around myself and shuffle out of my room. Man, it’s bright out here. It almost makes my head ache.

"Mr. Juice, you should go last so that she can be, uh… most comfortable while going to sleep."

"The hell I will! I'm going first! And I’m staying by her side until she tells me to get lost!"

"Beej, calm down, I can go in first and you can come right after." Beej swings to look at Lydia, face full of concern.  _ They haven't noticed me yet, perfect.  _ Right as Beej opens his mouth to retaliate, I jump in. Why are they freaking out like this anyway? It’s just a little cold.

"Don't worry guys, I'll go first." All eyes are on me in a fraction of a second, if they had been any faster I probably would've been knocked back. And then, in a blur, they all rush forward at once. In my entire life, I've never had four people try to all bring me a chair at the same time. I could get used to this lavish life.

_ Is she off in her own little world or something?! Her face is happy, but the color of it isn't. She’s usually vibrant, but she’s so- her color’s so dull. It’s...almost like mine. My hair turns a deep blue just looking at her like this. _

_ " _ Lyds, what is going on?!"

"I don't know! She wasn't that pale this morning!"  _ We whisper shout at each other, Angel finally in a chair. She doesn’t even try to stay standing, which makes my unbeating heart freeze. _

"We need to get her back to bed."  _ Not exactly news, but still. Lydia nods, moving so I can carry Angel bridal style. Once up in my arms she giggles and kisses my cheek. _

"You know, I don't normally let gorgeous men carry me around like this, but I'll let it slide just for you."  _ She's fucking shaking and burning up and I can tell she’s a little woozy. This isn't just a damn cough. When Lyds said she was sick, I didn’t think she meant THIS sick! I fight back the panic, smiling for her. All for her. Do this for  _ her.  _ Maybe this time I'll get to keep her… _

"Thanks Angel, good to know I can get away with it."  _ She laughs while I take her to her bed, laying her down gently. I get her settled in, making sure the blankets were over her, and the entire time, she’s looking up at me like I’m the light of her goddamn life. I mean, complete adoration. It...it makes my heart ache. Even when she’s in a state like this, she still… ah, I’ve gotta stop thinkin’ so much. Anyway, Lydia comes in with a box of tissues, followed closely by Delia who took it upon herself to make the soup. _

"Hey Bugaboo?"  _ Her voice is so soft I almost didn't hear her, I lean in closer. _

"What do you need, Angel? Just say the word."

"Don't…"  _ she chuckles,  _ "don't put any bugs in my soup, I'm not that hungry."  _ She cracks herself up, causing another coughing fit. At least her personality isn’t lost in all the sickness. _

"Okay, but only because you asked so nicely."  _ I get her seated so she doesn't get any soup on her. Chuck and Delia leave the room while me and Lydia take care of our sick little guest.  _

_ At some point, after all the soup, Angel falls asleep. Lydia stands up to leave and I move to follow her but I hear a soft little voice. _

"...don't worry mama… Possum will take care of it…"  _ Possum? Oh yeah, she told me once that was her mom's nickname for her. I don't want her to get lonely while I talk to Lydia, hopefully she doesn't mind me leaving an actual possum with her. The little guy lays next to her, wearing a sharp looking suit, and wraps his tail around her wrist. Happy, I follow Lydia out of the room. _

"Beej… I don't know if she's getting better."  _ Lydia stares at the door I just came through, chewing on her lip in worry. _

"...she needs to."

It's so cold…


	6. Mommy Dearest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bittersweet walk down memory lane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! It'll be a little bit between this and the next chapter, not nearly as long as my break has been since it's mostly finished, but it'll be the longest chapter so far so it's taking a bit to edit! Thank you so much for reading! <3

It's so cold… Where am I? I'm standing, could've sworn I was in bed. Oh yeah, I was sick. Am sick. What is this place? Am I dreaming or something…? I start walking around, my bare feet not even making a sound.

"Hey there, stranger." A  _ very _ familiar voice rings out in the nothing, sounding far away and right next to me at the same time. I turn around to face-

"Mama?" My mom. My  _ dead _ mom, is in front of me. I want so badly to run and hug her, but knowing nothing about the situation keeps me where I'm at. Seeing my hesitation makes her laugh.

"Always so cautious, possum." She takes a step forward and I take one backward. "Mom" freezes, not making another move.

"Prove you're my mother. Why does she call me possum?" The woman grins, not worried at all in my suspicion.

"You used to sneak out of the house as a baby at night. I never found out how you did it, but when I managed to keep you inside you would climb on everything and just hang from it. Like a possum." I wait a moment, looking her over before taking careful steps towards her. When I get close enough, I can smell her familiar scent. Dirt, books, coffee, fresh peaches. I can't help the tears that form and I pull her in for a tight hug.

"I missed you so much." She pets my hair like she always did, holding me close. 

"I know, possum, I know…" A couple minutes pass by, I think? Either way, eventually we part and I clear my face.

"So… where are we?" I gesture to the abyss that surrounds us, she almost looks sheepish when I look back at her.

"That's a bit… hard to explain.” She sighs, brushing a lock of hair from my face as she looks me over, soft concern in her eyes. “Sweetie, you're dying." Her words hit me like a freight train. I just nod, not looking at her.

"Oookay, was kinda hoping for more of a Force ghost kinda thing, not quite… becoming a ghost." A half-hearted chuckle leaves me, mom reaches over and pats my arm.

"Not what you wanted to hear, I know. But there are some things you need to know before you move on." With that, she starts walking.

"Where the hell are you going now?!" I don’t mean to shout, but I can't help the rage in me, she tells me I'm dying one second, now she's saying I have to see something and just walks off?!

"I'm following you. This is your soul, after all."

  
  


"Lydia! Lydia!" Delia's voice pierces the quiet air in the Deetz-Maitland house, getting the attention of everyone, dead or alive, from the bottom floor bedroom. Lydia's bedroom door nearly breaks off its hinges as she sprints down the stairs, freezing when she gets to the doorway. Delia is stepped back, Beetlejuice is sitting at the foot of the bed, face as dark as his hair, eyes stained with tears.

"Is she…?" Lydia feels her own eyes swimming, a hand covering her mouth.

"She's not dead." His coarse voice blunt, empty of any humor or spark of life. "But she's going to be." Delia moves to stand with Lydia.

"He said that he got a feeling, something about this sickness, he says he has to go to the Netherworld."

"Beetlejuice, you can't just go wandering into the netherworld! Juno will find you! Don’t you remember what happened last ti-"

"I have to try, don't I?!" He stands, towering over Lydia, her eyes flitting up to his hair, a deep mix of black, blue and red. She’s never seen that before. "I have to try... for her, Lyds. You get that, right?" Lydia and Delia look at each other for a moment before the young girl hugs Beej.

"We'll be here, keeping an eye on her. Just… be safe, okay?" He hugs her back, nodding against her, before pulling back. Beetlejuice takes a breath he doesn’t need as he gathers himself, eyes hardened with determination. Then, with a flick of the wrist, a doorway opens, smoke billowing out as he steps into it, leaving the room a lot less lively in his absence.

Eyes closed, Beej follows the feeling, the fleeting sensation he noticed when he was holding his Angel's hand.  _ I swear, it felt like magic. Old magic, like a demon. It better not be who I think it is.  _ Time moves differently in the Netherworld, to Beetlejuice, he's been walking for a year, then again he also is on edge and has nothing else to focus on. Every step he takes is deafening, his ears almost ringing from the volume.

"It's maddening, really." Just as the sound becomes too much, his footsteps no longer make a sound as a single voice is heard. "No matter how far you go, the distance that's put between you, you always manage to find each other."

"Mom." He finally stops, a couple feet in front of the woman he calls mom, though she's never deserved the title. It almost hurts to call her that. Juno ignores her son, continuing her talking, not even sparing him a glance.

"She needs to stay dead this time, keeps upsetting the balance. I figured since this is what got her the first time, maybe it would keep her dead."

" _ Mom _ ." His voice more forceful this time, trying to get her to stop, to look at him, anything.

"I will say though, watching her all these years,” She gives a harsh laugh, smoke erupting from her mouth for a moment. “I still smile every time I see the light leave her-"

"SHUT UP!" His roar shakes the two of them, finally, Juno drags her eyes lazily over to her son.

"Don't you talk to me that way, or I'll kill her even slower!" She takes a drag off her cigarette, smoke leaving the gash in her throat, eyes locked onto Beetlejuice. "Now, did you get to say goodbye to her this time?"

"Stop! What is this? Why are you killing her?! The fuck are you talking about?!" She does something right then that makes his blood boil: she laughs at him.

"Lawrence, I swear, you get dumber every day! You're telling me you didn't know?"

"Didn't know what?!"

"Who she  _ really _ is." Juno takes another drag as she steps closer, the smoke wafting into his face. It makes him almost gag. "Haven't you noticed her? Knowing things she couldn't possibly know?" Beetlejuice gets a flash of memories.

_ "Oh, I love that one! I still remember the dancing plague of 1518." _

_ "Me too, they really thought it was the praying that cured them. _ " She recalled it, like she had been there, and again.

_ “Lawrence, I swear to whatever god, give me my notebook back!”  _ She knew his name, the one that was never said.

"Ah, I can see the wheel turning in your head. You're realizing it, aren't you?" Juno begins circling around Beetlejuice like a vulture, the click of her heels echoing in the void around them. "I'll give you a minute, to recall something, anything else, just to see if you can figure it out for yourself." He's not even listening to her now, more memories coming to mind.

" _ Uh, why are you all covered in flour?" She looked so radiant, even after having just woken up from a nightmare, and there he was, covered in moss, bugs, and now a metric fuckton of flour. _

_ "I uh…" Beej lowers his head, not looking at the discarded pies littering the countertop. "I was… I was trying to…" He had been feeling rather down as of late and was trying to recreate a dish from when he was alive. "M-My wife… back when I was still a breather, she would make the best onion and egg tart." Just the thought of her brought a soft smile and fresh tears forth. _

_ "Do you miss her?" She began cleaning off the countertop so she could have room. _

_ "I haven't thought about her in a long time… but yes, I do." He looks up, his Angel just smiles. _

_ "That's my favorite thing about food. It can take you through time back to the moment you first had it." And with that, she gets to work, making her best onion and egg tart. "You're lucky, I had to recreate an old recipe in one of my classes. It was to test our translation of the Ye Olde English and see how well it turned out. This was what I chose." _

_ Soon enough it's done and ready to be eaten, Beej already having loaded up his plate. _

_ "Here we go! Let me know how it holds up to hers, okay?" Beej nods and hesitantly takes a bite. The second it hits his tongue, he's back in the little house in the village, his wife sitting across from him. Eyes overflowing, he finishes off the piece and goes for another. Angel laughs at his reaction. "Damn! If you don't slow down, your hair's gonna stay green for a week." _

"It's just like she said before…"

“She…” Beetlejuice swallows harshly, making electric, dangerous eye contact with Juno as she stops in front of him, taking a long drag of her cigarette. “She’s my- my wife. From all those years ago?”

Juno’s lips curl into a cruel smile that doesn’t reach her eyes as she lowers her cigarette and breathes a word that sends smoke right into Beetlejuice’s face.

“Bingo.”

It takes everything in him not to snarl in her face. Why? Why is this happening?!

“Why are you doing this?”

Her eyes are locked on his hair, laughing to herself. “I’ve never seen your hair like THIS. It’s almost completely-”

“Why are you doing this?!”

His rough shout doesn’t phase her, much to his frustration.

"I told you already. She's upsetting the balance of things. Dying, then coming back, dying again. Over and over and over! Do you know why?" One last memory comes to mind, the moment she died for the first time.

_ "Lawrence… I am going to die…" Her body, weak, just lying in bed. She's gotten so much worse, just like the others in the village. _

_ "You can't leave me." His tears fall down his face, he swallows thickly and leans closer, not caring if he catches it. She lifts a hand and cups his cheek, he takes her other one in both of his. _

_ "I will never be truly gone." She takes a deep breath, a pained cough wracks through her entire body. "Lawrence, I swear to you… if I don't find you in the next life… I will keep coming back… until I… do… " Her hand goes limp, arm falling to the bed. She's gone, not able to hear the guttural cries of her widowed husband. _

"She kept coming back… to find me?" He doesn't even try to hide the tears falling from his eyes, not caring anymore.

"And we have a winner! She kept forcing her way back, every single time I killed her, but she was relentless. Honestly, I'm a little proud of her. But her stubbornness could only carry her so far." Juno raises her arm, looking down at her watch. "And now…" a moment passes, her face spreads into a wicked grin. Beetlejuice shakes his head, not wanting to hear it.

"No."

"Now, she's finally dead."


	7. How's the fuckin' weather in Soul Town?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel is dead, Beetlejuice is confronting his mother, and yet change is always around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god guys I'm so sorry! We've had this chapter written up for a while but I wasn't truly satisfied with it, with the current world situation going on the way it is, everything kinda got shoved to the back burner. I'm not 100% back, and unfortunately I can't even promise more chapters in the coming days, but I do promise that this fic WILL get finished. What a wild ride it'll be too! Now, without further ado, or procrastinations, enjoy this kinda long chapter!

Lydia's tears have started to dry, none of them have moved since she stopped breathing. Lydia’s hands had been holding hers so hard for so long that her knuckles were white and trembling. And there was no way she was about to let go. She’s waiting for Beej to come back with her in tow.

He… has to come back with her, right?

...right?

Her eyes begin to well up with fresh tears, bitten back with determination to stay strong for her.

"Lydia…” Charles begins, unsure of what to do or what to say. “I understand you're hurt… but we need to have her…” He swallows dryly, feeling his own heart ache as he forces the words out. “taken care of." Charles tries to help his daughter, gentle hand on her shoulder, but she pulls away from him and stands protectively before her friend.

"No one is touching her until Beetlejuice comes back!" Everyone would've tried comforting her further, had it not been for the incredibly loud and unexpected gasp that came from the no longer dead woman on the bed, skin full of life and color as she sits up, coughing a little from the intense gasp. She looks at the people around her, puffy eyes all wide and waiting. She can't help herself from trying to lighten the mood with a slight, nervous smile.

"Who do I have to kill to get a glass of water around here?"

** _Meanwhile…_ **

  
  


"She can't be…" He can only shake his head, panic filling every inch of him as his entire being shakes. He'd feel it if she were dead, wouldn't he? He didn’t feel anything aside from a sense of fear washing over him like a wave of freezing water. Juno's a liar, she always has been, that's gotta be it! He follows his still heart, letting his feet guide him without another thought. He followed the sense he got from Angel, if he just follows it back… Oh no. He stops dead in his tracks. _ Oh fuck.  _

"Quit your damn snivelling, you know, I did you a favor by-"

"That's enough!" Beetlejuice manages, glaring daggers at her through his tears as he whips around, hair a deep black, lower lip trembling as he takes a shaky breath he doesn’t need. This is it, he thinks. She’s finally done something to break him. 

He smiles a terrifying smile. Juno, at the same moment, looks back at her watch, eyes wide. "You know what,  _ Juno _ ,” He starts, his dark, pained, furious eyes not leaving the hag for a second. “All my long, long,  _ very long _ life I've put up with you, your abuse, your  _ shit. _ But now?" He shakes his head, strained smile stuck, Juno still not paying him any mind. "Now, I've got nothing to lose." Waves of power start flaring up around him, dangerous, strong. "I've never been as strong as you, but I don't give a f-"

"Son of a bitch!" Her outburst catches him off guard, his focus broken.

"What now?!" Juno looks back up at him as though remembering he was there.

"You… Ugh!” She rubs her forehead, clearly very, very annoyed. “I hate the both of you! Just-" she screams out in fury. "I'll get to the bottom of this, and when I do, your girlfriend is as good as dead!" Her voice demonic, Juno takes one last drag and the smoke covers up her escape.

Beetlejuice looks around, waiting for something, anything to happen, ready to fight and end his existence right there when -- 

And then he feels it. He has never rushed so much for anything until this moment. Hope fills his cold, unbeating heart, hair turning a brighter green the closer he gets.

Finally, after an agonizing run, the door to the Netherworld swings back open and he couldn't be happier. 

There she is.

"Angel." His family, his real family, are all dogpiled on top of her. At the sound of his voice they quickly remove themselves before he launches himself on top of her, strong arms holding her close, as gentle as he could be. He says her name over and over like a prayer, refusing to let her go, muttering into her neck, his emotions getting the better of him, tears beginning to fall. "You d-d-died and I-I…" His sobs get worse, she rubs his back and holds him.

"Shh, I know, but I'm back. I'm sorry for putting you through that again." With a sniffle, Beej sits up, eyes wide as a hand moves up to brush a lock of hair from her face.

"Again? You remember?" He asks, earning a confused look.

"You found out?" He nods and she sighs, smile back on her lips. Oh, how he wishes it would never leave. "I was waiting for you to get back so I could tell you, all of you, about what happened to me."

_ A chapter ago… _

"I'm following you. This is your soul, after all." Mom just looks at me. I look forward, in front of her, a road forms beneath us. I can hear my feet hitting the pavement as I walk but I can't feel it. Finally caught up to her, she walks beside me.

"Funky." I say more to myself than her, looking at my feet. Mom just chuckles, watching me as we walk. Buildings start popping up around us, decorations and music filling the air. The neon lights shine bright, and the smell of hairspray is something you could choke on. I’m happy I don’t have to breathe right now.

"I think we're in the '80s." She says, pushing a balloon out of her face.

"What, like right before I was born?" I see her nod before a woman catches my eye. "Is that…?" The woman ducks into the building the loud music is coming from. We follow her in and it's silent. The building is used as a club from the look of it, but once inside there's not another person outside of the three of us. The lights are flashing, the mystery woman is leaning against the bar.

"Fancy meeting me here." She muses, glancing over to the two of us, and I finally got a good look at her.

“You’re… me?” Her clothes are definitely reminiscent of the ‘80s, right down to the hair. She… I? Ugh,  _ her _ , whatever. She chuckles at my pretty dumb question, she stands up off of her bar perch and walks closer, I note that she too is barefoot. She has on a black dress that stops at her mid-upper thigh, black panty hose, and a leather jacket to top it all off.

“How about we use nicknames? Makes this easier, they call me Bunny. Yes, I’m you, sort of." I give Bunny an inquisitive head tilt, not even close to understanding what she means. "Well, damn this is harder than I thought, I'm your most recent past life. So I'm you, but not really."

"Yeah, I'm not dumb, but this is kinda above my pay grade." I complain, this situation is getting worse by the minute.

"I get that, trust me, it was hard to figure out, but the others helped me out."

"Others?"

"So," Bunny ignores me and carries on, "we share the same soul, which means I am a part of you, but I also lived my own life and memories." I nod along to what she says, doing my best to follow along. 

"Wait, okay, so are we like a sandwich?" Bunny just stares at me so I continue. "Bear with me here, our soul is the sandwich, and we're the ingredients? Like, I'm bacon-"

"Why do you get to be bacon?" Bunny interjects, looking almost offended.

"Shut up, it's my metaphor." I hear laughter and look at my mother who is doing her best not to lose it.

"Sorry, it's just funny, Bunny sounds just like you."

"I thought you already knew about this?"

"I know the broad idea, but not the details. This is great." I roll my eyes at her antics and turn back to a more amused Bunny.

"Okay, so like I was saying, I'm the bacon," Bunny scoffs and I ignore her, "I have my own life, I'm in other things, but at the end of the day I'm part of this soul sandwich?" Bunny nods, working through my absolute garbage metaphor. Hey, whatever works, right? 

"Yeah, I mean, that metaphor kinda sucks, but yeah that's pretty much it." I pump my fist in the air, marking my success, before remembering why I was here in the first place.

"Wait, aren't I dying? What did I need to see?" I look back to my mom who just sighs.

"You were brought here to learn. I'm only along for the ride, not to teach you." Mom points to my soul buddy. Bunny has returned to the bar, eyes cast out the open door, not focusing on anything.

"I almost gave up, you know." She starts, I join her at the bar, leaning on my elbows.

"Gave up what?"

"Him. Our soul. Everything." Bunny sighs deeply, shaking her head, she turns around, her back pressed against the bar now, eyes skyward. "I always felt like something was missing, parties didn't help. Neither did school, jobs, hobbies. I had a fun life, don't get me wrong, but something always felt… off." An empty chuckle leaves her, eyes closing. "At college, my dorm mates were playing with a Ouija board and asked me to join them. Now, I had never believed in the supernatural or stuff like that before, but I was starting to just look for anything to hopefully make me happy. We played with the board and something happened…" Her brow furrows in thought, frowning.

"What happened?" I almost didn't want to interrupt her, but she had paused for a bit now. Bunny shakes it off and dons a somber smile.

"Sometimes it's hard to remember, but apparently I had passed out a minute or two after we started playing. I came here." She gestures to everything. "Here I talked to the rest of us and learned why I felt something was missing. Not gonna lie, I wasn't crazy about my missing piece being some random man. I had my own life, you know? So I denied it, went to party after party, loving the attention, the distraction. I had almost decided that would be my last life.” Her eyes still elsewhere, the ghost of a smile appears on his lips and stays for only a moment before fading again, the light staying in her eyes. “But then I saw him, here in this same club, that wacky striped suit catching my eye. I knew it was him immediately, not sure how I wanted to react. Some part of me, my soul I guess, knew he was there, that I was so close. I tried following after him, just to talk, but fate…” A slightly bitter chuckle leaves her as her eyes flick to meet mine. “fate had other plans. It was on my way to him that I died, a-” She sighs, looking away again. “Don't tell him, but a toilet fell from an upper level of the building, killing me immediately." I couldn't help the snicker that popped out, Bunny's eyes found me and even she couldn't fight the laugh.

"A toilet?"

"A lot of clubs are at old buildings that aren't structurally sound! I just happened to be killed by one!" Her voice wobbly from her laughter. "You know if he finds out, he'll never let you live it down, right?"

"Oh I'm well aware." Our laughter does down, things get quiet. "So… what happens to you now?" Bunny shrugs.

"Not sure honestly. You're dy _ ing _ , not dead yet. No one's really done this before." More silence, I don't want her to disappear, she must've heard my thoughts or something because she started laughing.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here like always. You're  _ in  _ our soul, honey, we're just a part of you. Sandwich, remember?" I give her a soft chuckle before pulling her in for a hug. "Tell Cactus "hi" for me, would you?" I nod and we part, I'm sure I'll find out who Cactus is soon enough. Mom and I exit the building and continue down the road when a thought hits me.

"If we're in my soul, how are you here?" I look at my mom, she offers a half shrug.

"I'm not crazy sure, but I know you have a powerful past life at some point. All spiritual and stuff." I nod, not really getting it but I'm sure I will when we get there. The further down the road we get, the older the buildings are.

"When do you think this is?"

"I think we're in the 20s." Mom muses, her eyes falling to me. "Where to, possum?" Her nickname for me a welcome sound, I turn a couple directions until something feels familiar.

"This way." The closer we get to our destination, the more music we can hear, and a clear, new figure appears. We stop in front of a quaint little home, evidence of parties littering the ground. The new figure steps into the front yard, the beads on her dress clicking together with each step before she turns back to us.

"Welcome home." She kicks open the door before stepping through the doorway, music silencing as we follow her in.

"Do they call you Cactus?" I ventured a guess, to which she, Cactus, nods.

"Bunny is sweet. What do they call you?" She asks, kicking a knocked over chair out of the way with a bare foot. I hope she can't feel that.

"My mom calls me possum, but Beej calls me Angel."

"Beej?" Cactus turns to me, face scrunched in a lovely combination of confusion and disgust.

"Beetlejuice, Lawrence, whatever he's called." I wander through the main room of the house, looking at the lingering party decorations.

"So, you found him, congrats. I didn't know about Lawrence until I died. I knew something was missing, but that's how all of us felt in those days. I was lucky, got invited to all the best parties around. Knew a Gatsby, beautiful bastard. But the lovely ladies, boy did they catch my eye.” She has a certain smug smirk about her as she thinks about it, but after a moment or two, is fades, a sort of dull sadness taking its place. “In the mornings, when everyone was still asleep from the alcohol, I'd find myself staring out at the horizon, wanting to go.” She shakes her head slightly as she passes me. “Never knew where, just that I wanted to leave." She leans on a counter, those beautiful eyes staring out the window, but not taking in a single sight. "I shouldn't have gotten into that car that night... Maybe things would've turned out different?" She laughs, a hollow sound, eyes closing. "No, probably not. Now that I know what happened, what really happened, I know I would've died all the same. He was getting closer and she knew it."

"She?" Once again, I didn't want to interrupt, but this is new. I turn back to her, watching, waiting.

"His mother, Juno. She works in the Netherworld, she's powerful, more than he is. She makes sure things go according to plan, and us? Well, reincarnation isn't exactly common, sweetheart. It messes with things. She's been killing us since the beginning. Well, not the first time, I don’t think, but for a while. You'll figure it out." Her piercing eyes find mine, boring into them. "She is the reason my car flipped and fell off a bridge. And I didn’t exactly die on impact. It hurt like hell.” Her intense gaze never wavers. “Do me a favor? Punch that nasty bitch in the teeth for me, would you?"

"Absolutely." We say our goodbyes and part, wondering where the road will take us next. Mom looks over at me a few times while we walk, so I figured she had something to say.

"What's on your mind?" I ask, glancing her way between looking at the buildings starting to fade away.

"Well… it's just been a while, I wanted to know how you've been. You know, outside of this and all." I can't help the bright smile that takes over my face as I immediately fill her in in the last few years without her. School, travelling, the strange circumstances that led to now.

"He just took you in his car?"

"I know right! Charles is nice, but he can sure be a weirdo sometimes." Buildings pretty much gone at this point, but the sound of rushing water fills the air. "Are we at… Niagara Falls?"

"Looks like it." Mom looks around as we get closer to the rails, another person standing there, waiting.

Once I take my spot, the water falls on deaf ears, only the sight reminding us it's even there.

"Even now, it's still the most beautiful place in the world. I'm glad this is where I'm at." The mystery me speaks, their words the only indication they know I'm here. "I'm Vee, heard you coming." Vee turns to me, expression unreadable. "Not all of us knew we were part of some weird destiny train."

"I didn't either."

"No, but you still have a chance. You have this knowledge, you know where you come from, why you and Lawrence were so comfortable with each other from the beginning. What are you going to do with it?" She turns away from me, voice hardened. "My dream was to come and see the falls myself, it was all I wanted. I get there, see it for only a second, and some…  _ thing  _ throws me head first over the rails. Next thing I know I'm here and all these other… me? People, whatever. They tell me all about this and I hate it. Why me? I never asked for this." Vee sighs, head shaking.

"I'm sorry." Vee looks at me, looking for some sign of lying, and just smiles.

"Thanks. I guess after all this time I just got bitter about it all. We've all seen you with him, if that's what you want then go for it. Be happy. Don't let one grumpy ghost tell you how to live your life. What do I know? I've been dead a lot longer than I lived." I pat Vee's back and continue the walk.

"Whoa whoa whoa. They hate me?" Beej speaks up for the first time since I started my story, head in my lap.

"I can't say I blame them, you know? Vee was right. None of them asked for that to happen to them. In fact, most of them didn't know who you were, what they were chasing, they were just alone. I did get to meet the person the Phantom of the Opera was based on though!"

"Really?" Lydia perks up, sitting up from her spot at the foot of my bed.

"Yep! The chandelier fell right on top of her, keeping her pinned while the theater caught fire and burned to the ground. After that, the Phantom was never heard from again, and she's what the character Christine is loosely based on."

"Damn babe, that's pretty brutal." Beej shakes his head, nuzzling into my side.

"You want brutal? Remember that nightmare I had my first night here? One of my past lives, she was so nice, they called her Star because she would always be watching the night sky. Such a romantic, that one. But after a while, I finally met that "powerful" version of me. Juno didn't actually kill her!"

"Seriously?!" Beej jumps up, apparently very invested in this part. I roll my eyes with a smile, carrying on with my story.

  
  


"I heard you coming, sit please. Your mother too." An elderly woman welcomed us into a cozy cabin. "Call me anything you like, I'll answer to whatever."

"You got it, Ayl." I chuckle at my half joke, taking a seat in a very plush chair. She closes the door and gives me a look.

"Ale?"

"A-y-l. "Anything you like" you said." My mom puts her face in her hands and the elderly woman chuckles.

"You're just like me as a kid. A shithead." My mom guffaws at that, finding it very humorous. I shoot her a look, but I can't really argue 

"So, when did you figure all of this… stuff out?" I watch as the elderly woman takes a seat across from me in a lovely rocking chair.

"When I was very young, I noticed I could see ghosts, it just escalated from there. The older I got, the more my powers grew. I could communicate with the dead, not just in the human world, but the Netherworld. Hell, I'm the one that brought your mother here." She raises her hand and gestures at the mother in question.

"Thank you for that, I really appreciate it. I have another question though."

"I'm sure you have many." She jokes.

"Can it, granny. How come I can understand you guys? I've been to 19th century France, I don't know where or when I am here, I know I still have a hundred years or so until the first me, but still."

"It's your soul, we communicate through that instead of languages. I'm sure the closer you were to your time you were it was still manageable without that, but now? Soul talk."

"Cool." We sit like that for a bit, just getting comfortable when I decided to ruin it. "So how did you die? Did Juno drop a house on you? Mauled by bears?"

"Old age, actually. I never could pinpoint Lawrence's location, but he didn't interest me that much either way."

_ "Rude!" _ Beej shouts, causing most of us to jump.

"Beetlejuice, do you want me to get through this or not?" His hair turns a sheepish yellow and he lays back down. "Thank you."

"I did my best to keep her off my trail, once I got the hang of things. I don't think she ever found me, even after death. But I lived a beautiful life. I'm sure it would've been quite eventful had I met Lawrence in my youth, but all things considered, I find myself quite lucky." She smiles, more wrinkles appearing in her face. "I'm sure you're eager to meet the first lady herself, but rest for a couple more moments before you go. I enjoy new company."

"I'd love to, but…"

"One more question?" She asks knowingly, I nod.

"What will happen to all of you? When I go back?"

"Child, isn't it obvious?" She laughs, a grin on her face as the wrinkles melt away. "All these lives you've seen, all this time you've recovered, and you don't know?" All the wrinkles, grey hair, gone. Sitting before me is another me, another mirror, facet of my soul. "We've always been here, a part of you. None of that changes now that you know we're here. Think of us as phases you've gone through in a very, very long life. Some people have hipster phases, you have a disco phase. We are you. Our memories are your memories. We just represent that part of your life." With that, we sit in silence, giving me a much needed time to think things over. I hear my mom and Granny talking about the cabin, about life, but I'm not focused on that.

I look at my hands, at Bunny's hands, Cactus's, all of them. They are me, were me, just like I am them. Just because this is my path that was laid before me doesn't mean I have to follow it. The fact that there are so many facets to this place proves that. They all represent their individual lives, but we are the same. I close my hands and stand, ready to face  _ her. _ Granny smiles up at me, weird calling a mirror image of myself "granny" but I'll live with it.

"I'll give you this warning: she can be a bit difficult to talk to sometimes. Existing as long as she has takes its toll, I'm sure she's far more like Lawrence now than she knows." Granny informs, walking us out onto a new path, no longer a road, but a dirt walkway.

"Thanks Granny, but I've been living with a literal crazy demon for a while now. I kinda know how to handle crazy at this point." I joke, but she doesn't laugh. Granny just pulls me in for a hug, letting go to look at me.

"When Juno shows up, we'll be here to help, okay?" I nod and wave farewell as my mom and I take off for what seems to be the last stop.

"How old did she live to be? Granny, I mean." I look at my mom, hoping she had asked.

"She died at the ripe old age of 111." My jaw drops.

"Impossible! At that point in time?!" Mom just nods at me.

"Mhm, she said that her supernatural knowledge helped her live a lot longer than others. Granny thinks it has to do with her being the first reincarnation." I take it in as we get closer to a familiar village.

"It can't be…" Mom gives me an inquisitive look, brow furrowed. "East Grinstead, there was a cabin outside of the village…" I break out into a jog, recognizing the cabin from dreams I've had, rushing to the door. I raise my hand to knock when someone cuts me off.

"I'm afraid I'm not home at the moment, can I take a message?" I turn painfully slow, almost afraid of what I'll see, but all I see is  _ her. _ She looks so normal, beautiful, but normal.

"It's you." Is all I can say, she nods, as though expecting that reaction.

"And it's you. Would you like to come in? Just made some food." Without waiting for a response, she enters the cabin, Mom following and pulling me in with her. "So, tell me, how is he? My Lawrence, I mean." The question brings me back to the moment. Had I not gotten used to the whole "existential crisis" thing by now I might've argued with her.

"He's doing alright, he never really recovered from your passing, so that kinda took its toll."

"So I heard, suicide I believe? Never thought he would do that, but then again, I don't think I could live without him either. Certainly couldn't die without him." She laughs at her own joke and leads us to the "food" she mentioned. "Hungry?" She asks, grabbing an empty basket.

"I'm good, thanks." Mom also declines, to which she just shrugs and puts it back down. 

"Well, let's get to business, shall we?" I nod and she gestures to a few chairs near a table. Once we all sit, she stares me down more intensely than I've ever seen. "You're in charge now, I want you to take good care of him, understand?" I couldn't do anything except nod and give her a thumbs up. She immediately brightens back up. "Excellent! Now, Juno didn't actually kill me, she was dead before me but not that good at being a spirit yet. You know how people who kill themselves become civil servants in the afterlife, right?"

"Naturally." I say a little sarcastically, I don't think she caught it, but Mom sure did and she kicked me in the shin. I guess spirit-on-spirit violence hurts rather than environmental because damn!

"Well, Juno kept telling Lawrence that if he married me she would kill herself, lo and behold, she actually did. He was pretty torn up over it, not necessarily her death, more that he didn't feel that bad. She's always been horrible, especially to him. Not surprised that she's still holding a grudge, I mean, look at what she did to you."

"What does that mean?" She once again has my full attention, her face unconcerned.

"Well for starters you're dead."

"WHAT?!" I jump up out of my seat, the chair goes flying.

"I thought you knew? Maybe it hasn't caught up to you yet. Don't worry, you're not staying dead, I'll send you back."

"You can do that?" A little ashamed of my outburst, I pick up the chair I threw and bring it back to the table.

"Of course! I've been here a long,  _ long  _ time, you're only slightly dead. In a few more minutes you'll be mostly dead though, then the only good anyone can do is pick your pockets for loose change." Mom stands up, a sad smile pulling at her features.

"Sounds like the end of the line for me." We just stand there for a moment, not sure what to say, finally she speaks up. "You know, I've peeked at you a couple times here and there since I've been dead, and never once have you disappointed me."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, there was the time I popped in when you decided to take a break from studying while you were in college and I found you stoned out of your mind trying to argue with the other people in the room about how to make the best corndog." Mom laughs at the memory, wiping a stray tear. "I'm glad you had fun, don't take life too seriously. If you can't tell, it ends pretty quickly. Either you get a toilet dropped on your head in a busted club or a psycho demon lady flips your car. Live your life like it's the last day on Earth, okay possum?" At this point I'm in tears, I pull her in for a tight embrace, nodding against her.

"Sorry to break this up, but she's about to become mostly dead so I need to send her back now." We part, I wipe my face dry, and step back over to the table, giving my mom one last glance. "It's not like you'll never see her again. Besides, I need you to give Lawrence a message for me."

"Well?" Beej stares me down, I finally finished the story and am torturing him a little bit for dramatic effect.

"Well what?" I ask him innocently but not so innocently.

"Well how's the fuckin' weather in Soul Town? What was her message?!" His hair a little red but still very pink, I can't help but laugh a little at his expense.

"She wanted you to know that she misses you, she's glad you're happy, quote "I told you your hair was gonna turn green", aaand," I lean a little closer to him, "she finally found you." Cartoon hearts start floating above his head, hair completely back to pink.


End file.
